Heavenly Peace

My band, The Mending Seed, has just released an original Christmas song called "Heavenly Peace". This song was inspired in the wee hours of the morning. I tried to write a Christmas song about six weeks ago, but it wasn't coming together, so I gave up.

Then one night a tune suddenly came to me. I was up until 1:30 in the morning laying it down before I forgot it. Still, the song was not complete. I couldn't figure out how to write the bridge. I almost gave up on it - especially since it was already December and I felt I had missed my window of opportunity to release a Christmas song. But, one morning, around 3:00 AM, I awoke out of a dead sleep and heard the music in my head, so I rushed out to my Korg Triton workstation and laid it down quick.

Then came time for the lyrics. Again, I struggled to write anything on my own and so left it alone and decided again that I was too late anyway and would try again next year. That's when my good friend, Kendyall Guthrie, stepped in and said, "Let me help you. I love to write poetry and lyrics." She came over one morning with a large Dr. Pepper (my medication) and together we wrote two-thirds of the lyrics.

There were many more obstacles that came with the finishing up and recording of this song. My bass player, Brian Stewart, records our music through his studio 510 Audio and on the last night of recording, his system completely crashed and it looked like we weren't going to be able to get it up and running and finish the song. So many times I wanted to just give up. I wasn't sure if it was worth it. Then I thought, "What am I even going to do with this song? I feel like this song isn't even mine. The entire thing was inspired in my sleep."

That's when the answer came to me - "Donate half of the proceeds to a charity or organization. That's what you want to do with your band anyway - make a difference in the world. Here's your big chance to get moving in that direction."

I decided upon the Anasazi Foundation first because it was a young man in their program who named us. The entire story can be found on our site www.themendingseed.com along with a 2-minute clip of the song and a link to the Anasazi Foundation.

We have decided to donate 50% of the proceeds forever to Anasazi. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for choosing to inspire ME with this song. I know it came from Him and I know that He could have chosen anyone, but He chose me and my band and I am so humbled by this opportunity to record and share such a beautiful song and hopefully make a difference with it. I pray that I will be inspired every year with a new song to benefit a new organization.

I'm grateful to the wonderful people I am surrounded by who will drop everything and use their talents to help make my music and its release to the public possible. I have a website designer and graphic artist and band mates and friends who will stay up 'til all hours doing whatever needs to be done. Here's the beautiful artwork designed by Jordan Gallup. He was up until 11:00 PM doing this for me. And Dave Riddle, owner of Microworks Systems, was up until midnight getting everything loaded onto our site.
I hope you'll take the time to go to our site and listen to the clip and share it with others and when it's released on CDBaby.com, that many will purchase it and help make a difference for a wonderful organization. More information and links can be found on our official site.

Merry Christmas, everyone! May you feel the true spirit of Christmas this season, whether by giving or receiving, and experience the miracle of the Savior's birth.

Unbelievable!

My husband is French. I'm American. We live in America. (Just setting the stage)

After four years of marriage, he finally obtained his green card, so I could quit hiding him in the attic and we could live life in peace. We were also finally able to leave the country. So, recently we did. We took all four of the kids and we left the country for a little vacation getaway.

We had a wonderful, uneventful time. Just relaxing. Not doing much of anything. That's not what this story is about.

This story is about the part where we tried to come home. TRIED being the keyword here.

As we approached the border, the situation became chaotic. We noticed ahead of us that agents were running in between the vehicles, throwing doors open and pulling people out. They were dressed like a SWAT team, shotguns in hand. I squinted my eyes, trying to get a closer view and figure out WHAT in the WORLD was going on.

Just then a car came squealing toward us and immediately our attention was diverted. A woman in a trench coat jumped out and ran toward our minivan, motioning with her arm for us to come with her. She kept shouting "Get out! Get out! Get out now!" Without thinking, I sprung into action. My heart pounding wildly, I began unlatching kids' car seat belts and grabbing bags. My teenage son, John, who was in the very back seat with my youngest daughter, unlatched her and helped her out of the minivan while I grabbed the other two kids. With my diaper bag and purse slung over my shoulder and my toddler son on my hip, I grabbed my 5-year-old daughter's hand and began running toward the woman and her car, screaming for the rest of my family to follow me quick.

The woman held her arms out as if to take my son from me, so I handed him over quick and shoved my daughter into the car then whipped around and saw my teenage son running toward us with my youngest daughter. "Hurry, John!" I shouted.

Then I realized he was missing - my husband. As John approached me, I grabbed his shoulders and said, "Where's dad?"

"I don't know!" He shouted back.

I whirled around and faced the woman. "Where's my husband? Did you see him? He was with us in the minivan. Where did he go?"

She quietly bowed her head and heaved a sigh.

I whipped around again and searched behind me. Our minivan sat there empty now, all of the doors hanging open.

"WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?!" I screamed, then whipped back around to face the woman.

"They have him." She said, a look of worry across her face now.

"What do you mean they have him?" I cried.

"Just come with me and I'll help you and your kids get across. We'll worry about your husband later." She put her arm around me and walked me around to the passenger side front seat of the car and helped me in.

I sank into the seat in a complete daze and stared straight ahead, my mind racing through hundreds of possibilities as to my husband's whereabouts and condition.

I felt the car sink lower to my left and the sound of the driver's side door slamming. The car lurched forward slightly and then veered off to the right. We drove in silence for a few seconds before I mumbled "What are they going to do with him?"

I heard the woman sigh again. "I don't know. Is he American?"

"No. He's French." I responded tonelessly.

"Hm." The woman said with a greater sigh. "They'll probably torture him, then."

I jumped in my seat and turned to face her. "WHAT?!" I shouted. "Why would they do that?! What's happening?!" I started sobbing. My children sat completely silent in the back seat.

"We're here." The woman pointed to the building in front of us. "Just come inside with me and we'll get the paperwork done to get you and your kids over the border. Then we'll start working on your husband's paperwork, get an attorney, and get a court date."

I felt every muscle in my body weaken. "Oh my gosh." I muttered, slumping back into my seat. "Why is this happening? I just wanna' go home."

The next thing I remember is sitting in a small, sterile room alone. There was one table and one chair in there and I was sitting in it. My children were off somewhere else in the building. I didn't worry so much for my little ones. They were in John's care and I knew he was capable. I just worried for poor John. Those kids can be a handful and I hoped they wouldn't keep me separated from them too long.

The woman entered the room and handed me a stack of about five papers stapled together and a #2 pencil.

"Ok. I'm going to leave you alone to fill these out. Just come out into the hall when you're done." Then she turned abruptly and left, shutting the door behind her.

The room was dead quiet with the exception of the faint buzzing of the fluorescent lights overhead. I stared blankly at the papers, my head swirling with worry. I tried to focus on the questions; tried to read and understand them, but I just couldn't. I slammed my fists down on the desk and growled, then stood so abruptly, I nearly knocked the desk over. I began pacing the room then, biting my fist and trying not to cry. I was like a restless wild animal, pacing back and forth in its cage. I wanted my kids, I wanted my husband, and I wanted OUT of this place!

Realizing my only way out was to fill out the paperwork, I returned to the desk, drawing in a couple of deep breaths and blowing them out hard. "OK. I've just gotta' get this done and then I can leave." I tried to convince myself, but deep down I feared it would be a lot more complicated than that. And what of my husband? What if I couldn't get him back? What would they do with him? And what was I supposed to do? Did they expect me to just go home and get on with my life? Never see my husband again? Never know what's become of him?

I couldn't help but entertain these racing thoughts, which continually prevented me from focusing on the task at hand.

"Ahhh! I can't DO this! I don't understand these QUESTIONS! It's TOO HARD!" I yelled aloud. My adrenaline was going now. I grabbed the papers and pencil and threw the desk aside, then stormed out into the hall hell-bent on finding that woman and demanding she bring my children to me and give me answers about my husband NOW!

The hall was empty, but I could hear the drone of several chattering voices coming from somewhere up ahead. I walked briskly down the hall toward the noise and found myself in a large recreation room with high ceilings, bright neon lights and large televisions with fitness commercials blaring. "What IS this place?" I thought. "This is so bizarre." My eyes darted about the room in hopes of spotting my children.

As I turned around in circles, searching frantically for my kids or at least the woman who had brought me here, I bumped into someone. He was of average height with a muscular build, dressed in workout clothes. He kind of looked like a personal trainer, which was fitting considering the look of this room I was in. "Can I help you?" He asked in a cheery tone.

"Um..." I hesitated, still searching the room. "I...I need help."

"Great. Well, what can I help you with today?" He said, still bright and cheery.

I looked down at the papers in my hand and began sobbing. "I can't do this. It's too hard. I don't understand the questions and I just want my kids and my husband." I began wailing like a lost child.

"Ok. Ok. Calm down." He said gently, taking me by the hand and leading me to a small table with two chairs. "Here - have a seat and let's look this over."

I sat down next to him and then grabbed his hand in desperation. He looked puzzled as he searched my eyes. "Just tell me the answers." I whispered loudly. "Don't make me do this. Just tell me the answers to the test."

"I can't do that. I -"

"I'm American." I interrupted, my tone becoming more desperate. "Listen to me. I'm American. My kids are American. My husband is...well, he's legal. I'm from America. I just want to go home. I don't know what's happening. Just tell me the answers quick. I already know them. I just can't think right now."

The man took both of my hands and stared hard into my eyes. "No, you listen to me. You can DO this. You can do it. I will help you, but I can't do it for you. Just relax and take a deep breath and let's read this first question together. It's simple. You'll see."

I stared into his eyes a few moments, panting. Then I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes before finally realizing there was no easy way out of this. "Ok," I said. "Ok. I'll try."

I looked at the paper and found the first question. There was a picture of this:



I read the question aloud, "How many hours of energy will this drink give you?"

I furrowed my brow and lurched my head back in disbelief. "Well, that's simple. It's a five-hour energy drink, so the answer is 5 hours."

"Yes!" The man shouted in excitement. "See? What'd I tell ya'?"

I sighed and released a laugh of relief.

"OK" he said, sitting forward in his seat with excitement. "Look at this next one now."

There was a picture of this:


I read the next question aloud, "What do you do through these?"

"Ok. Ok." He coaxed me on.

"Well, they're glasses." I said in a disgusted tone.

"Yeah!" He shouted and lifted his hand for a high-five.

I shot him an irritated look and humored him with a weak high-five.

"This is dumb."

"Just answer it. You're doing great." He replied, still cheering me along.

Now I was ticked. This was a waste of my time. THESE were the questions they wanted me to answer to cross the border? Was this some kind of JOKE?!

"Come on. What's the answer?" The man coaxed.

"This is really, really DUMB!" I said, my voice growing louder with each word and ending in a shout.

The man sat back in his seat and sighed.

"Ok. Sorry." I sighed, feeling bad about my rude behavior. The man was only trying to help. "You look through them, Ok?"

"That's right." He smiled. "Just write the word look in between the lenses of the glasses."

"Um....OK." I responded, completely annoyed at this point.

I began to write the word "look" on the picture of the eyeglasses when a loud buzzing sound rang through the room. It startled me and I jumped, writing a very sloppy "L" across the picture. I sighed in frustration and began erasing, but the buzzing sound wouldn't stop. In fact, it was growing louder.

I closed my eyes for a second, then looked up at the ceiling. I recognized the ceiling now. It was my bedroom ceiling. I was in my bedroom. My alarm clock was going off. I hit the snooze button and glanced over my shoulder. My husband was sleeping soundly right next to me. I heaved a sigh of relief and threw my head back on my pillow, a smile plastered across my face.

MAN, my dreams are bizarre!

It's Here! It's Really Here!

Our CD's arrived about a week-and-a-half ahead of schedule and we're so excited! There's just something surreal about holding something you've dreamed about for years in your hands and realizing it's real; it's really happening.

There are some big things in the works that we'll announce on our facebook fan page as they are solidified.

But for now, here it is:

Our album cover.

If you like The Cranberries, you'll probably like us too. Check us out here for a sample of our sound.

And if you likee, go here to order your copy now. We're signing copies up until October 12th when we officially release our album on CDBaby, iTunes, Napster, Rhapsody, Emusic, etc.

Stay tuned for more news!

Sylvie's Artwork

My daughter, Sylvie-Faye is our resident artist. She spends her afternoons drawing pictures with a story behind them. Her favorite subject is people and lately, a particular TYPE of person has become the main subject of her work.


Now, this is a Chester, see, and a Chester is basically any strange man walking along on his own. Now, he can be totally minding his own business, but if he is a man and he's alone....he's a Chester. And Chesters are not good for little children because basically they want to kidnap them and kill them.

What?

Where did she learn such things?

Umm....I don't have time for questions right now. Just listen to the story.

Now, other objects that represent a Chester include:

Ice Cream Trucks.

And also white, windowless vans.

So, basically what's happening in this picture right now is this guy is basically realizing that it's not a good thing to be a Chester because well....


This little guy in the corner is jumping on his head and...

This person is throwing rocks at his head and then, as if that wasn't punishment enough...

THIS little lady is actually swinging ANOTHER Chester around and beating the first Chester with it. It's insane....but, according to Sylvie-Faye, very necessary.

And the creepiest part of all is that, in spite of being jumped on, pummeled and actually beaten with another of his kind - the Chester is still smiling.

"So, how did this all end up as Sylvie's obsession?" you ask. "And why does she think men driving white vans and ice cream trucks and walking along on their own, minding their own business are called Chester and want to kill her?"

It's simple - I had to find a way to stop her from sneaking out of the house and trying to be "a big girl" - taking off on her own to explore the world. There are real dangers out there and perhaps I was a little dramatic. Perhaps singling out certain vehicles and all males, in general, was unfair, BUT, she never leaves my side. She no longer tries to leave the house.

OK and also she can't sleep at night and we had to hang a dream catcher above her bed, which we told her scares Chesters away, and also she screams in horror when she sees ice cream trucks, white vans and men, but....it's better this way, right?

I honestly didn't mean to petrify my poor little lady. I had no idea she was gonna' take the story so seriously. Geez!

Exciting News!

Our band website is up and running. Check us out: www.themendingseed.com

Here's our promotional video we put together and added to our youtube channel:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgqlX6z3No0

In this video we've included clips from 9 of the 12 tracks from our upcoming album, "Broken Souls" and information on how to pre-order, as well as our contest to win $200.

We appreciate the support and encouragement from our family, friends and fans.

I GOT IT BACK!!!

Ahhh....cable TV, how I've missed you - I mean the REAL you. Not the basic crap that comes with a few channels mostly geared towards children and the rest is regular television or educational stuff. I mean, education is good....for the children.

But as for me, I prefer to be educated in all things celebrity. That is my hobby. These people entertain me with their drama and their priorities, or lack thereof.

Now, several months ago we felt it necessary to reduce our bills around here and thus had our cable channels reduced to practically nothing. It was pointless really. There were cartoons available 24/7 for the kids, but the kids are not awake 24/7 and there's this amazing invention called the DVD player.

Anyhoo, our receiver went on the fritz and upon ordering a new one by phone we felt it necessary to end our misery and boost our cable channels.

Which brings me to the reason for this post - I got E! back! E! Glorious E! E is for entertainment, you know, and that's EXACTLY what this channel provides me - pure entertainment.

Here's what I learned this week: (Squealing) Ooh, this is so exciting!

1. Demi Lovato wore a dress to some "Camp Rock"/Disney event and when an interviewer on the red carpet asked her who the designer was, she didn't even know!

What say you, Carson Kressley?

Thuper naughty!

Mm hm.

2. Julia Roberts had the NERVE to wear a modest dress to a Sony event in Japan.

Thus earning her the title "Grandma".

The HORROR!

Nobody wants to be GRANDMA!

Especially not Joan.

That woman is paying good money to resemble The Joker just to avoid being called "Grandma".

Poor Julia.

Oh, they did say her shoes were cute, though.

Whew! There's hope.

3. When it comes to college fashion, pants are NOT in.

Vanessa Hudgens' fashion choices are apparently deciding this for the rest of the world and I'm thinking...

...a lot more guys are gonna' suddenly realize the importance of a college education in the next few months.

4. Heidi and Spencer (big grin)...sorry, I just LOVE these two. I know people love to hate on them, but seriously, when we all need a good laugh, they come through EVERY TIME!


So, apparently these two are divorced now, which is a HUGE shocker!

Whoa! Not THAT huge!

Gee whiz!

ANYWAY....where was I?

Oh yeah, so OK apparently after the divorce Spencer decided he wasn't done being "famous", so he posted something on Twitter (Are people following him? Really? Ok. Wow.) about how he now had possession of Heidi in a sex tape that he was planning on releasing to the public, but that's not even the disturbing part.

The disturbing part is his description. And I quote: "The sex tape will not feature any bisexuality. It will however feature trisexuality. Also - a triceratops.

Looks like that photo Lo Lo made for her in photoshop years ago gave Spencer some good ideas. For THAT full story, go to my IT'S ON DONKEY KONG post from 2008

Oh man! Good times. Good times.

I learned more, but I'm gonna' just leave you with that because it's a lot to absorb all at once and I don't wanna' overload you with too much info all at once.

So, study up and class will resume next week.

MEOW

"Meow." That's what I say when I'm in a weird mood. I don't know why. It just comes out. Sometimes I drawl it out. Other times I just say it tonelessly.

A few years ago I lived out in Queen Creek and met and quickly became friends with a woman named Amanda. We're like twin sisters in another life. We look a lot alike and we have similar personalities and...basically we're the same person in two different bodies.

ANYWAY...so, we became so close that we kind of had our own special way of communicating. OK, it was just me. I'm a weirdo - that's the only difference between the two of us. I'm the weird twin.

Anytime I saw PRIVATE NAME/PRIVATE NUMBER on my caller ID, I knew it was her and I'd pick up the phone and say, "Meeoooow." She'd laugh every time, which is the main reason I did it, and then sometimes she'd either say "Meow" back or we'd jump into conversation.

During this period of time, we were working with an immigration attorney to obtain a Green Card for Bertrand so I wouldn't have to lock him in the attic to hide him from Sheriff Joe for being an illegal and we did all of our communication through e-mail and snail mail...unless I called his office to speak with him directly to ask a quick question.

One day around noon I received a call from PRIVATE NAME/PRIVATE NUMBER. I was in a particularly weird mood just then and smiled at the opportunity to express my weirdness to the one person who would understand. I picked up the phone and drawled the longest "Meeeeeeooooooow" I'd ever done. It was a new record for me.

There was no response.

I furrowed my brow and pulled the phone back to double check the caller ID, then placed the receiver back to my ear and said, "Meow?"

Suddenly I heard a man's throat clearing and a voice say, "Uhh...hello?"

I gasped and my eyes bugged out of my head. Reflexively I hung up the phone. My jaw dropped and I just sat there frozen. "Oh, crap! That was NOT Amanda. That was our immigration attorney!" I thought to myself in horror.

He was an old man on the verge of retirement and the word serious does not even do this man justice. I don't think a funny bone exists in that man's body. In fact, I believe him to be incapable of showing emotion PERIOD!

He didn't call back.

When I finally recovered from my shock, I dialed Amanda quick. She answered and I called out her name in desperation.

"What? No meow?" She laughed.

"Oh my gosh." The panic was evident in my voice.

"Are you OK? What's going on?" She sounded concerned.

"Uh...." I started in a shaky voice. "my lawyer just called and I thought it was you and I meowed into the phone and he didn't answer, so I meowed again and I heard him clearing his throat, so then I realized it was him and I hung up quick."

She immediately burst into a giggling fit, so I sat there, biting my lip, waiting for her to finish.

"Oh, THAT is hilarious!" She laughed again.

"No, it's not. I feel so stupid right now."

"Oh well", she attempted to console me. "He'll get over it."

We chatted for a few more minutes and then ended the conversation. I made a mental note to never meow into the phone again when PRIVATE NAME/PRIVATE NUMBER called.

The weeks passed and I continued receiving PRIVATE NAME/PRIVATE NUMBER calls from Amanda. I very quickly settled into my usual routine of meowing into the phone when she called. Old habits die hard.

Mid morning one day, as I sat typing medical reports, my phone rang. It was PRIVATE NAME/PRIVATE NUMBER again. I was only too happy to take a break from work and visit with my good friend. I decided to answer with a slight variation and barely squeaked a newborn kitten-sized "meow" into the phone.

There was no response.

I thought perhaps Amanda didn't hear me because the meow was so faint.

"meow" I squeaked again.

No response.

"meow.....meow......meow" I persisted.

Nothing.

I sat there in complete silence - just listening. There was no sound coming from the other end. I thought perhaps Amanda was teasing me, so I decided to say her name aloud, but right before I could get it out, I heard "H - hello?"

My eyes bugged out of my head again. I slapped my hand over my mouth to hold back the horrific sound that wanted to escape my mouth. It was my attorney - AGAIN!

I sucked in a quick breath, which immediately froze in the back of my throat. I sat there paralyzed, holding my breath, trying to think quick "Should I just say hello and explain that I meow into the phone when my friend calls and I thought it was my friend calling? Oh, no. I can't do that. He'll think I'm insane and he won't want to represent us anymore."

I hit "END" on the phone and slammed it down on my desk, then buried my head in my hands and groaned. "Oh my gosh. I'm an IDIOT!" As I sat there reprimanding myself under my breath, the phone began to ring again.

My head shot up and I hesitated before glancing over at the phone. PRIVATE NAME/PRIVATE NUMBER showed on the caller ID again.

I heaved a sigh and muttered, "Oh my gosh. OK, stay calm. Stay calm." I took a couple of deep breaths and then proceeded to answer with a normal "Hello?"

"Hey!" My friend Amanda answered in a cheery tone.

"Oh my gosh!" I breathed into the phone.

"Oh my gosh" she responded. "What's going on? Are you OK over there?"

"I did it again!" I cried.

"Did what?" She asked.

"I meowed into the phone when my attorney called." I groaned.

Dead silence.

"Amanda?" I asked; my voice cracking.

Dead silence.

"AMANDA?!" I called out.

Suddenly she made a noise like the dam just broke and the fits of laughter came flooding out.

I heaved a frustrated sigh. "It's not FUNNY!"

"Sorry. I'm trying so hard not to laugh because I can tell you're upset, but..." She burst yet another giggling fit.

"I'm seriously an idiot and I should not be allowed to use the phone anymore", I moaned.

"So, what are you gonna' do?" She asked, still laughing.

"Nothing." I replied tonelessly.

"Just call him back and tell him you didn't realize it was him." She advised, as though it was no big deal.

"Are you CRAZY?!?! I am NOT admitting to meowing like a cat into the phone! Not to HIM, anyway!"

After she got a few good laughs out and I groaned in agony a few more times, we ended our conversation and I attempted to return to my normal activity.

A little later in the afternoon, I received another PRIVATE NAME/PRIVATE NUMBER call.

As soon as I saw it on the caller ID I smiled with slight satisfaction. "Oh, I'm not falling for that again", I said aloud, then proceeded to answer.

"Hello, is Kristin Coppee there?" It was the attorney.

"Yes. This is she." I responded.

"H-hello. I, uh....I've been trying to reach you. I don't know what happened." He sounded completely flustered and disturbed, as though perhaps he feared he was going senile. "I've called your number here several times and....well....I'm really not sure what's happening."

"Oh?" I asked, as though I were completely clueless.

"Yes, well....I....I tried to dial you and it....uh....it sounded like a....well, I think it was a cat of some sort on the other end. I - I'm not sure...." He continued, sounding very concerned.

I curled my hand into a fist and shoved it in my mouth, biting down to suppress the giggling fit that was fighting to escape. The tears started to stream down my face, as the pressure built.

"H - h - hello?" The attorney asked after several seconds of silence had passed.

I removed my fist from my mouth, pulled the receiver away from my head and ground my teeth hard, shaking my head and fighting to think of something serious - ANYTHING - to not laugh. I COULD NOT LAUGH! I couldn't have him discovering my horrible secret - not NOW!

"Hello?" He repeated in a louder, more agitated tone. "Ms. Coppee, are you there? "

"Yes." I said in a very controlled tone, barely regaining my composure. "Sorry. I think my phone cut out."

He cleared his throat. "Yes, well, anyway....I must have dialed the wrong number and thought I was calling you."

"Oh," I responded, suddenly feeling a rush of relief. "Yes, that must have been what happened. How strange. I'm so sorry."

He remained silent a few seconds. "Yes....well....I'll have to double check my dialing. It was....very...very strange to hear a cat on the other end. I....can't imagine what I must have dialed."

I contorted my face and began tapping my fingers very aggressively into my forehead, trying to clear my mind and think of something serious, as the dam again threatened to burst and release a rush of laughter.

"Anyway", he continued. "Did you receive the latest packet I sent you with the questionnaire?"

"Yes!" I nearly shouted into the phone. "Yes, I got it and...." the words came rushing out in an effort to end this phone call as quickly as possible. The dam wasn't going to hold up much longer. ",..we will get that filled out and mailed back right away. In fact, we'll send it tomorrow."

I held my breath and waited for his response, silently praying that this phone call would end NOW!

"Very good. I will await the packet." He said in a very formal tone.

"Great. Thanks." I spit out.

"Ok, then. Have a nice day, Ms. Coppee."

"Ok, thanks. Bye."

I hung up the phone and the dam burst. I laughed so hard, I cried. After several minutes, the laughter calmed down and I began to regain my composure, only to recall the entire conversation and burst into a giggling fit again, this time falling to the floor, I was laughing so hard. Several minutes later I dialed Amanda as I gasped for air, trying to catch my breath back.

Needless to say, she had yet another good laugh at my expense.

I did finally learn my lesson, though. I have NEVER answered with a meow when the called ID says PRIVATE NAME/PRIVATE NUMBER since that day.

A Little Surprise

It had been a long week. Bertrand had been working long hours at his pool job and had spent long evenings in the studio finishing up his drums. This left me alone with the kids ALL day and ALL night. In a word, we were exhausted!

Bertrand crashed into bed and reached for the remote.

"What are you gonna' watch, babe?" I asked and hopped onto the bed excitedly.

"Uhhhh....I don't know..." He heaved a tired sigh. "I was thinking of watching that new movie that came in the mail today through Netflix. I don't think you're gonna' like it."

I playfully frowned and slinked off the bed, grabbing the paper sleeve so I could read the info. "Ugh. You're right. I'm not interested." I decided to go slip into the tub and read a bit.

A while later I heard the noise from the TV die. I really wanted to spend some time with my husband, but I also wanted to finish the chapter I was on, so I decided to finish my reading and then join him.

By the time I emerged from the bathroom, I noticed the bedroom light was off. As I gently pushed the door open, I could hear him breathing methodically. I let out a disappointed sigh and readied myself for bed.

As I slipped in between the covers, I felt something touching me and I noticed my husband was facing me, though his eyes were still closed. "Oh, how sweet", I thought. "He's reaching his hand out to me." I turned on my side to face him and got comfortable, then slowly pushed my hand through the sheets in search of his. I smiled as I curled my fingers around his.

Then suddenly I froze; my eyes widening in horror. "Ok, THAT is not a hand," I thought. Holding my breath, I slowly lifted the blanket and squinted in the dark. The little bit of light from outside shone through the gap in the curtains. I reached my hand out and felt it again, then lifted it up.

It was the TV remote.

Heaving a relieved and comical sigh, I laid my head back against the pillow and leaned over to the nightstand to set it down. Then I turned back to my husband, hoping to try again.

Just as I turned back to him, he turned over in bed and his heavy, methodical breathing commenced.

"I'll let you off the hook tonight," I whispered. "But tomorrow night it's ME, not the TV!"

Kaboom!

For reason #6,547 why I should be stripped of my title of housewife, please refer to Exhibit A.

Exhibit A

See, it all started with me wanting to take a nice, hot bath so I could be inspired to finish up my songs for my upcoming album. As I ran my bathwater, I looked over and noticed the toilet was in need of a cleaning, so I decided to get that taken care of while my bath was filling.

The toilet was looking rather nasty, as I don't care for cleaning toilets and so rarely perform the task. I remembered I had some old stuff called Kaboom.

See, what you do is fill the cap with some of the powder, dump it in the toilet and then it foams up and then you wait a few minutes and scrub and it helps take the disgusting ring right off your toilet with minimal effort.

And so, being the incapable person that I am (incapable of reading instructions, that is), I tipped the container to the side and tried to lightly sprinkle some powder in.

The problem is that this stuff is old and therefore kind of clumped inside. This annoyed me and so I began hitting the container against my other open hand, trying to loosen up the powder.

Oh, I loosened it up all right. I loosened up HALF the container and it went KABOOM!

As the foam went wild and began rising at an incredible speed, I stood there frozen - mouth gaping open, trying to think fast.

I reached over to the flusher and pushed it down hard.

The foam began gurgling and rising faster. My eyes just about popped out of my head. It only exacerbated the problem, inducing a volcanic-like effect.

Oopsie.

Perhaps I should stick to writing music. Darn. I will miss cleaning toilets.

Album Photo Shoot

Our album is about to be released - hopefully July! Maybe August. I don't know. We're perfectionists, so it's getting stretched out longer than we had anticipated. Plus, our new lead guitarist had to go and write this amazingly beautiful song that I just HAVE to have on the album, so now that's holding things up. (I have to blame SOMEONE and it certainly won't be myself!)

Anyway, a friend of mine took our pics and she did an amazing job. These are some of my favorites. Now, to pick the album cover....(sigh) This is gonna' be tougher than I thought.







Of course, I had to get one of me cuddling up to my hot drummer/husband.

This One's For The Lazy People

A long time ago, back when I was desperate to lose weight, but not desperate enough to actually have to work at it, I purchased the Seven Shapely Secrets workout. The draw was that you could exercise without moving! Yeah! So, of course, being the lazy person that I am, I was all over that!

Tonight at dinner somehow this topic came up in the conversation and I was explaining to Bertrand that there was a face exercise that helped lift the face.

I then proceeded to demonstrate and, throwing all vanity (one of my many character flaws) aside, I allowed this picture with zero make-up, greasy hair and face, zits and all, to be taken. This is me demonstrating the facial muscle exercise, which I have never revealed to my own husband until now.

And I've known about this for like 3 1/2 years now.

And then he tried to mimic me and this was the result.

Hey honey, does your face hurt? 'Cause it's hurting me.

And finally, we bribed John by telling him that if he let us snap a photo of him doing the face exercise and post it, we would let him continue to grow his hair long. He agreed, we snapped the picture and then he asked, "Ok, so I get to keep growing my hair long, right?" to which I responded, "Yes, for one more day." HAHA! SUCKA!

So, if you're like me - looking for ways to get in shape without much effort, try this facial exercise for one minute three times a day. And also I dare you to post pictures of yourself doing it.

Formalities

We live in a 1500 sq. ft. 1970's red brick home with very little updating.

I drive a 1999 dull brown minivan.

I sleep on two mattresses on the floor.

Our front entry table is an old weather-beaten brown desk covered in a satiny green tablecloth with a $5 knock-off Tiffany lamp and a 7-year-old, $7 silk flower bouquet.

Dinner is served anywhere between 5:30 and 8:00 PM, depending on the day, and is usually some cheap, easy recipe or fast food.

And yet, my 4 1/2-year-old conducts her business as though we lived in a palace.

Just this afternoon as I fed a Beech-Nut 3rd stage fruit medley lunch to Zander in his old plastic high chair that's been through two other children and is missing all buckle straps and the detachable tray, Sylvie-Faye approached me with her hands clasped behind her back and cleared her throat to get my attention.

I glanced at her and said, "Hi, Sylvie. What's up?"

SYLVIE: (Sighing) Mother, I came to tell you something very important.

ME: Okaaay.

SYLVIE: I was in my room and I was cleaning it and Chloe did something and I was very mad and I said, "I'm going to go tell mommy on you right now" and so I walked out of my room and I came down the hall and I found you in the kitchen feeding Zander and I came to tell on Chloe to you.

Just then Zander sneezed and a glob of food fell out of his mouth and onto his leg. He began poking it with his finger and playing with it. I wrinkled my nose and looked back at Sylvie.

ME: Okaaay.

SYLVIE: So now I'm coming to tell you that Chloe is doing something that is making me VERY mad.

ME: Uh huh....

SYLVIE: She is NOT cleaning her room. Just me. And so I told her that I was going to come and tell on her to you and so I got up and I came down the hall....wait...I - first I got up from the floor and then I walked (she performs a walking motion) down the hall and I was looking for you and I heard you in the kitchen talking to Zander and I came in here and I saw you feeding Zander and now I'm telling you about Chloe.

My jaw fell open slightly and I just sat there, dumb-struck.

I think that girl was meant to be royalty or something.

What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate.

True story.

This afternoon I jumped into my minivan for a quick run to the grocery store. I threw the gear into reverse, stepped on the gas and proceeded to screech out of the driveway when I suddenly caught sight of an older woman who exercises every night right after dinner by walking our street with hand weights. I stomped on the brake and the woman froze in her tracks, her eyes wide as saucers.

I gasped and apologized through my window, motioning for her to go ahead.

She motioned back for ME to go ahead.

I motioned again and mouthed, "No YOU go ahead."

Again, she motioned back and mouthed, "No YOU go ahead."

So I shrugged and said, "OK" and proceeded to back out. However, the woman apparently gave the same response and proceeded to continue walking.

Fortunately, I caught sight of her walking behind me and stomped on the brake pedal again.

This time, shaking my head, I rolled my window down and called out, "Oh my gosh! I'm SO SORRY! Please, go ahead! I'll wait!"

"No. No." She chuckled. "You go ahead. I'LL wait!"

"No, really. I feel terrible. You go ahead." I called back.

"It's ok, dear. You go on ahead." She insisted.

"No, really..." I began, but she motioned again with her arms for me to proceed.

And so I released my foot from the brake and proceeded to roll backwards again and caught sight of her AGAIN walking behind my minivan. I nearly hit her a THIRD TIME!!!

"Oh my gosh!" I called out, completely exasperated.

She froze again and stared back in horror. I just lost it right there. I dropped my head onto my steering wheel and laughed hysterically. Then I threw it into park and GOT OUT and stood next to my minivan and said, "Please. Go ahead. I have it in park now. I will NOT be running over you tonight!"

Luckily, she has a sense of humor so we could both laugh about this and she proceeded on her way. Then I released a sigh and got back into my minivan, rolled up the window, waited until she was well out of ear shot and shouted, "OH MY GOSH! SERIOUSLY! WHAT WAS THAT!"

The Truth Is...

My girls refused to take a nap. They swore up and down that they were NOT tired. So I finally agreed to take them on an errand with me.

Upon entering the grocery store parking lot, I immediately turned the minivan around and headed home without going in the store.

But it's NOT because the girls were tired.


They did NOT fall asleep.



Sylvie was just...lost in a deep thought or tanning her face or something.


Something like that.

Definitely not sleeping, though.

At least that's what she stated upon realizing we had suddenly returned home empty-handed.

FINALLY!!!

I am happy to announce that after EIGHT LONG YEARS my band, The Mending Seed is finally putting out an actual album called "Broken Souls". It won't be available until July/August 2010, so we have agreed to release four singles for your listening pleasure.

That in itself seems to be taking forever, but finally one new single "Before You Came Along" was released on CDBaby.com this morning, so if you care to listen and support our efforts, click on the link below and for 99 cents, you too can behold our hard work and hopefully appreciate it.

To describe our sound, it's like The Cranberries, Sarah McLachlan, Enya, Jewel, Alanis Morissette, and Natalie Merchant were all thrown into a blender, mixed at the highest speed for ten seconds and then some classic, progressive and alternative rock spice was sprinkled on top, with a little sprig of ethereal vocal layering as a garnish.

DRINK UP!

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/MendingSeed

New Information!

I know Superman has been around a long time and we all pretty much know everything there is to know about him. Well....maybe not everything....unless you're a total comic book geek. I'm not gonna' mention any names, but...you know who you are - Florida boy. ANYWAY...

So, last night I was supervising my 4-year-old brushing her teeth for bed when I heard singing. And these were the lyrics:

La La La La La La
I'm Superman the elf
La La La La
I'm Superman the elf

Of course this piqued my curiosity because the information in the lyrics was very confusing to me. I mean, I've seen the Superman movies. I was totally in LOVE with Christopher Reeve when I was like 7 and I know that was a long time ago, but I think I would remember whether or not he was an elf.

I do realize the man wore tights and elves also wear tights, but I do not recall pointy ears, pointy shoes, and also him being small enough to fit in my hand (although I won't deny that that does appeal to me on some levels). ANYWAY....

When I rounded the corner, this is the scene I beheld:

This blond, caped creature standing over my baby boy, ordering him to move because she needed room to take off in flight.

"What's going on in here?" I asked, my hands on my hips.

The creature whipped around and stated, "Wellw..I'm Supoman da elf and dat baby is in my way 'cause I need to fwy now."

"Superman is an elf?" I asked in surprise.

"Wellllw....." it began and then sheepishly smiled and hung it's head, rubbing it's foot against the carpet with a nervous giggle. "Yeeeaah."

So, there you go. You've just learned something new today. Superman can also take the form of an elf. But don't worry - it apparently specifies when it's in elf form by calling itself Superman the elf, so as not to cause any confusion.

Slight Misinterpretation

On Monday nights we try (try being the key word) to sit down with our children and read scripture and have a little religious lesson. It's what we call "Family Home Evening". Because most of our children are so young, the lessons are very short and usually involve pictures or objects to keep their attention.

Recently I found this great resource at our church bookstore - a small booklet with CD to print out lessons with pictures and activities. Of course, I snatched that right up (I'll take all the help I can get) and brought it home in a rush of excitement where I whipped it out of the bag, showed it my husband with a huge grin on my face and then put it on the shelf...where it sat for weeks.

One Monday night I thought, "We haven't had a Family Home Evening in a few weeks. I should try to put something together for tonight." So I paced about, opening a couple of closets, looking on shelves, trying to get an idea. Then it dawned on me, "Oh yeah! I bought a book to help me with this."

I found the book, chose a lesson that looked easy to put together at the last second, printed out the picture puzzle activity and let my anxious little helpers (my 3 and 4-year-old daughters) help me color them quick.

Then I told my husband I had something ready, we gathered the family together at our kitchen table and I proceeded to give a quick little lesson and then laid out the puzzle pieces. "OK kids. I have puzzles here with two pieces. One piece is over here on THIS side of the table", I said, pointing to my left. "And these are the matching pieces over HERE." I pointed to my right.

We proceeded to go around the table and let each person pick an action piece and then try to find the consequence piece that matched. My girls struggled a little bit with matching up the pieces since they can't read and, as we soon discovered, they struggled to interpret the meaning behind the pictures.

Here's how it went:



ME: OK, Chloe. Yours says "Obey the Word of Wisdom."

With some help I pushed the matching piece over and asked, "What happens when we don't smoke and drink and we don't do drugs and we eat good food and take care of our bodies?"

CHLOE: Ummmm......uhhhhhhh.....well, we could put our fingos (fingers) in our eaws (ears) (she grinned a toothy grin of satisfaction).

Immediately the table erupted into laughter and her look became confused.

CHLOE: Well, dat boy is putting his fingos in his eaws, mommy.

ME: I know it looks like that, honey. But look at those big muscles. He's flexing his muscles. See? He's strong and healthy.

CHLOE: Yeah. Stong and Helfy. (She giggled in delight).



ME: OK. Sylvie's turn. What happens when we say our prayers?

SYLVIE: Ummm....it's gonna rain out of a cloud.

Bertrand and I chuckled. John rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath.

ME: Well, honey, if we pray for rain maybe Heavenly Father will make it rain. But...

SYLVIE: (Interrupting) Mommy, why did you make the rain look like a fire? Why did you do that, mommy?

ME: Well, that's the sun poking through the clouds.

SYLVIE: Well, that's supposed to be rain, mommy. You did it wrong.

ME: OK. I'm sorry. But you know what it says? It says Heavenly Father will help us. If we say our prayers He listens to us and He can help us.

SYLVIE: (Bored) OK, mommy. That's enough. That's enough talking now. I want it to be somebody else's turn.

ME: (Heaving a sigh) OK. John. It's your turn.

Finally we got to Chloe's turn again.

ME: Chloe, what happens when we're happy at home? If we smile and give each other hugs and treat each other nice - what do you think happens?

CHLOE: Well....pokey fings (things) come out of a boy's head.

The table erupts into laughter again.

JOHN: Well, it's true. These pictures are gay, mom. How are they supposed to know what's happening?

ME: John, don't say that, please. That's not nice. Let's just help them try to understand, OK?

John rolls his eyes and mutters under his breath again.

SYLVIE: But mom, what ARE those things? Those things coming out of that boy's head - what are those? Is he shooting bullets from his head?

ME: (Giggling) No. Oh my gosh. OK. This isn't working.

I look at Bertrand helplessly. He shrugs in response. I return a slight glare. Bertrand leans forward and proceeds to explain the picture.

Then it was Sylvie's turn again.


ME: Oh, this is a good one too. When we're reverent in church, do you know what happens? Look at those kids.

SYLVIE: (Scratching her head and contorting her face) Mom, why are they touching their boobies?

Chloe and Sylvie burst into a giggling fit.

I immediately dropped my head into my hands and tugged at my hair as I tried to stifle my laughter.

JOHN: (Extremely annoyed) Oh my GOSH!

He heaves a huge sigh and lays his head on the table.

I finally looked at Bertrand and said, "Honey, I give up. Can you step in here and help me out?"

He held his hands up and said, "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know", I half laughed, half whined.

Luckily, Bertrand took over and saved the day and Family Home Evening ended within a few minutes and we were onto root beer floats.

(SIGH) I'm gonna' have to look at these lessons a little more closely before I give one next time.

It's What's Meant To Be

They say everything happens for a reason. It's what I've had to tell myself for a while now through everything I've been through. It's part of what gets me through (besides making light of everything and having a good laugh in lieu of driving off the nearest cliff).

And so, I have a very powerful story of faith and prayer to share with you.

Some amazing changes have just come about within the last hour and they are UN-believable!

As many of you know, I have a passion for music and together with my husband and my good friend, Brian, who are both amazing talents, I have been writing and recording music and trying to get an album released for a long time now.

But there have been many obstacles:
1. Four children (three ages 4 and under).
2. Full time job transcribing medical reports.
3. Lack of inspiration, probably most likely due to fatigue.
4. Lack of funds due to financial strain.

Since the day I turned 19 and married for the first time, I have been required to work full time. My income has been needed. And I have worked long and hard improving upon my skills, studying in my spare time to keep abreast of the latest information needed to do my job properly and make myself into the ultimate transcribing robot - an irreplaceable one.

In the eleven years that I have worked in this field, I have never been without work. I may have switched up which company I worked for or whether or not I even worked for a company, but I have NEVER had a lapse in work EVER.

A lot of difficult things have happened for myself and my little family. In spite of our many efforts to budget our money, pay our tithing (I'm Mormon - we pay 10% back to the church. I know those of you who are not of my faith may find this ludicrous, especially in my situation, but my husband and I view it as a privilege and gladly pay it, relying on our faith in God to provide for us, which He always has), etc., we are constantly late on bills, wondering where our next meal is going to come from, and lie awake many nights trying to figure out how to better our situation.

We have taken on more work, sought out work, worked longer hours, and constantly arranged and re-arranged - just trying ANYTHING to better our lives, but to no avail.

Always, this urge to work on music and produce an album has been in the back of my mind and whatever little time and energy I've had, I've written, but the process has been long and tedious and still, after all these years (since 2004), I've never really put out a solid album for sale or taken it to that next level that I would need to in order to make this my career. Part of me has always been afraid. I've never had the faith, I guess, to take that leap and make it happen. It's always been further down my list of priorities because I always had work and children calling.

My recent effort to better our situation included putting my children into full time daycare. I felt this would enable me to "crank" out the work and make at least double what I've been making, which would in turn help us climb up out of our hole. In the last couple of weeks, despite my efforts, I've always been exhausted, distracted, and just couldn't quite produce the amount of work I wanted to. I felt a depression over my family issues and our financial issues, and my baby boy hasn't been sleeping much, and basically my whole world has been falling apart.

My husband is always telling me to work on the music. "That is what we need to be focusing on. " I've always snapped back at him that that is ridiculous and we need money and the music will have to wait.

During this last week, I noticed my infant son acting strangely. He seemed to focus on something in a room and would smile and babble in his baby talk. He even lifted his hand and waved several times. I would turn and try to look and he would squirm around, trying to keep his gaze on whatever it was.

One morning, around 2:00 AM, he awoke and, completely exhausted, I stumbled out of bed, picked him up and staggered down the hall. I prepared him a bottle and fed him, but he kept pulling away, staring at a spot in the room and smiling and babbling. I would roll my eyes and sigh and say, "Come on, Mr. Z. Drink your bottle, baby." When he finished, he fought to sit up on my lap, so I held him up and he raised his hand and waved and said, "Hi." He's ONLY 8 1/2 months. My eyes practically bugged out of my head and I said, "Did you just say hi?" He smiled at me and then turned back to the spot in the room, waved his hand again and said, "Gampa." My mouth DROPPED open.

Bertrand's father passed away many years ago from cancer. I never had the opportunity to meet him, but often Bertrand has expressed that he can feel his presence and that he feels his father, a once famous musician in France, is guiding him as he plays the drums. And now, here he seemed to be - in the room with us - and my baby was excitedly waving and trying to speak to him. I felt goosebumps all over my body. I didn't feel fear, just calm and wonderment.

And t hen this last weekend I finally fell into it - a huge depression. I mean HUGE! I've been so down, I didn't want to be around anyone, didn't want to see anyone, didn't want to do anything, didn't want to eat or sleep, just plain didn't care. I would sit in front of my computer and just stare blankly.

Finally, my husband offered to give me a priesthood blessing - a blessing of comfort and peace. ANYTHING to help me out of my emotional abyss. I was so numb and empty, I thanked him, but declined stating that I didn't think anything could help me and I just wanted to be left alone. I told him, "I can figure this out. I always do. I just need to be left alone and I will do my crying and feeling sorry for myself and then I will get up and take action and fix this." And so, knowing full well my stubborn nature, he helplessly walked away and let me be.

On Sunday I didn't attend church. I was so exhausted I could barely move. I knew it was emotional exhaustion causing an overwhelming physical exhaustion. I just laid there and let my husband take care of the children and ready himself for church as he had a lesson to give. I felt terrible inside. I watched my dear, sweet husband just patiently deal with all of this and I knew it wasn't fair what I was doing to him...and to my children.

Finally, Sunday afternoon, I approached my husband and said, "Can you give me a blessing now?"

He said nothing.

I said, "Honey? Did you hear me?"

He said, "Yeah. Are you sure?"

I sighed deeply and said, "Yeah. I need help. I've finally realized I can't do this alone and I need a blessing to get me through this."

And so he followed me into our bedroom where he laid his hands on my head and after a few moments began to give me a blessing of comfort and peace through his priesthood power. I sat there very numb. I tried to feel something, but I couldn't. In fact, I started feeling a slight annoyance over his blessing. A lot of the things he said I felt were just him giving me a lecture - telling me to stay close to the Lord, read my scriptures, appreciate and draw closer to my children, remember the talents I was blessed with and focus my attention on those. One thing he said a couple of times was, "You know what you have to do."

As soon as he was done, I sat there a few moments silently. He stepped back and looked at me and asked, "Do you feel better?" I sighed and glanced over at him and replied, tonelessly, "Yeah. Thanks, honey." Then I proceeded to walk away.

"What part of the blessing made you feel better?" He asked.

I stopped dead in my tracks and slowly turned around and shrugged and said, "I don't know. I guess all of it. I know - I need to read my scriptures and pray and....yeah."

Later that evening, the tension between us grew and I finally spilled it to him later in our room.
"I'm sorry, hon, but it just felt like you were giving me a lecture or something. I worry that those words were your own and not coming from the Lord."

I saw the expression on his face instantly turn to anger, but he tried to suppress it. "Fine", he calmly replied. "Let me call another man from the ward and have HIM come give you a blessing. Who do you trust to give you a better blessing? Tell me and I'll call him."

I released a huge sigh and looked down and said, "No, hon. I don't want that. I'm sorry. I just....I don't know what's wrong with me. I just feel so numb right now. And lost. Thank you for the blessing. I'm so sorry I said those things. That was terrible. Thank you for bringing the priesthood into our home and blessing our lives with it. And thank you for being so willing to give me and our children a blessing whenever we need it." I hugged him, but I could feel the tension and hurt in him, so I let him be.

Monday evening I reluctantly agreed to jam with Bertrand. I had written a new song and he was trying to solidify his drumming on it. We ran through the song a few times and I perked up a bit. He was solid. It sounded so good. It renewed my hope that we could do this and it would be good.

I expressed my excitement to him and said, "Let's make a point to jam every night and then try to get into the studio next week if we get some more money in and get this song laid down properly." He agreed and we went about our evening, getting kids into bed, etc. Later that night I felt inspired to work on music and so I worked until midnight. By that point I was literally nodding off as I composed. I think the fact that I was working on "Forbidden Love Lullaby", key word being "lullaby" didn't help my situation.

And then TODAY happened. And the turn of events was CRAZY! ABSOLUTELY CRAZY!!!!

It all started with me dropping my kids off at daycare, returning home and just staring at my keyboard. I couldn't bring myself to work. I didn't want to. I felt so much inspiration and I just wanted to work on music. I decided to put off my work for a little while longer and just sit down at my keyboard for a moment. After working on music for about an hour I stared out the window and thought, "I wish I'd just lose my job so I could work on music all day."

Then, realizing that my kids were in daycare, I was paying for their time to be there and I needed to make money to be able to pay for that and our bills, I arose from my keyboard, sat at my computer, downloaded some files and slowly began to type, heaving several sighs as I went along, occasionally glancing at my keyboard.

My good friend, Jenn, called me and we visited for a few minutes and then I heard another call coming through. I pulled the phone back, saw that it was my manager from the transcription company I worked for, and told Jenn I had to go.

I clicked over and the conversation went like this:

PSI: Hi Kristin. How are you?
ME: Fine, thanks.
PSI: You sure?
ME: Yeees. (chuckling)
PSI: I have really bad news. (heaving a big sigh)
ME: Ok.
PSI: We've just lost half of our accounts and there's no way we can keep everyone busy enough, so we have to lay off 50 transcriptionists. This decision has been very difficult and it has nothing to do with your quality of work or anything. It's just that you haven't been with us as long as some of the others and so....we have to let you go.
ME: (Very matter-of-fact). Ok. That's Ok.

I felt so much peace, it was insane! It was SO unlike me! I typically remain calm, but inside it's like the lions have escaped at the zoo and they're ravenously hungry and the overcrowded zoo is running for the gate all at the same time and people are getting trampled and....you get the idea.

But this time was different. I felt totally calm. It was almost like I had expected this phone call and it was all very matter-of-fact and no big deal.

My manager proceeded to tell me that she couldn't even give me any notice - that I needed to stop working right then and there and call the computer guy for the company to help talk me through erasing everything from my system. I agreed and thanked her and said, "It's Ok. I'll call him right now. Thanks."

She gave me the name and number of the company that had taken over the accounts and informed me that they were short-staffed and hiring. She urged me to call them and see if I could get on. Then she promised that if they received any new accounts, I'd be one of the first hired back. I thanked her and hung up.

I called the company in Utah and spoke to the manager. She warned me that many transcriptionists from PSI had already called and that when they heard about the terms with this new company, they ran away screaming. I chuckled and said, "It's OK. I've worked in many different types of situations, so I'm sure it won't be foreign to me." She agreed to send me the information and told me to call her if I was still interested.

During that conversation, Bertrand stopped in briefly. As I spoke on the phone, I scribbled out the words, "I just got laid off" on a piece of paper. His eyes bugged out of his head and he gasped, "Are you SERIOUS? Oh my gosh. You're joking, right?" I smiled and shook my head "no." Then I held up a finger to signal I needed just a minute and mouthed the words, "It's OK."

After getting off the phone with the manager and assuring my husband that all would be well and that I felt peace over this. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as it hit me - I need to pray. I need the Lord to guide me. This is all happening for a reason and I know He'll direct me and watch over us like He always has. I explained this to my husband with tear-filled eyes and he asked, "Then why are you crying - if you feel so much peace?" I responded, "Because. I know that everything will be Ok. I feel so much peace right now and I actually I'm excited to discover what's in store for me now."

I then prodded him along to go back to work and told him I needed to be alone to pray and think about this and figure out what to do next. He left and I immediately proceeded to check out the latest transcription job postings on line.

They were grim. Bad hours. Bad pay. Bad conditions over all. I realized quickly that I had been spoiled by PSI and that I wasn't about to find anything like it with any other company. The only jobs available right now require me to work weekends, Saturday AND Sunday - ALL DAY or work midnight to 5:00 AM.

I decided to stick with my original plan and retreat to my room to kneel and pray and ask for the Lord's guidance. As I knelt, I pondered for a few minutes what was happening and the words of the blessing I had received entered my mind again. I thought for a moment about what I wanted to ask the Lord and then I began my prayer.

I started out asking, "Please help me to be able to know if transcription is the right avenue for me to continue in. I feel like I should try to apply for jobs and find another job quickly in that field to help us through while I continue to work on my album and...."

My mind went blank. Absolutely blank. I had ZERO thoughts. It was like a room with four white walls and there was nothing in it. NOTHING! I knelt there completely dumb-founded. I finally opened my eyes and looked heavenward and thought, "This is weird." Then I remembered what I had learned - if you have a stupor of thought, that's the answer that something isn't right. I thought for a minute and then decided to change what I was asking for. I closed my eyes and began again - "Please help me to know if this is right to concentrate on the music now. I have my children in daycare the rest of this week and it's already paid for, so if it's right for me to take this time to finish my album, please help me to know that this is right. I feel like I should take advantage of this time and..."

And that's when the ideas came flooding to my head like a dam breaking and the waters overtaking.

Finish the album.
Don't look for another job.
Take full advantage of this week your kids are in daycare.
Call Brian right now.
Tell him you need to get into the studio and finish the album this week.
Tell him you don't have money to pay him right now. He'll be OK to wait for the money.
Tell him you need as much time as he has to give you.
Work on music every night with Bertrand.
He's ready with the drums. There's no need to wait.
He can do this.
You can do this.
You're ready.
Now is the time.
Put whatever music you get done this week on I-tunes.
The money will come in from that and get you by until the album is completely finished and ready to put out.

I just knelt there, my mouth gaping open, the thoughts flowing through my mind like a waterfall. And then they stopped. And I suddenly felt a warmth and peace. I slowly stood up and stared out the window for a second.

Then I grabbed the phone and called Brian. I got his voicemail, so I left a message for him to call me back as SOON as he got a chance.

Then I called and explained to Bertrand what had just happened. I could hear him sniffling on the other end.

"Are you OK, honey?" I asked.

"Yep. I know this is the right thing too." He replied. "Those words in the blessing I gave you were NOT MINE! I promise you that. I've been waiting for you to figure that out."

I began to sniffle with him over the phone.

Just then the other line rang. It was Brian. I told Bertrand I had to go and clicked over.

"Kristin's transcription", Brian said with a laugh. He always greets me this way.

"Not anymore", I stated proudly.

"WHAT? What's going on?" He nearly shouted into the phone.

"I've been laid off."

"Are you kidding me? What's happening?"

"Brian. I don't mean to get all religious fanatic on you, but..."

"Oh no", he grumbled and then chuckled. "OK. Let's have it."

I then proceeded to tell Brian the nutshell version of this extremely long story. And, just as my answer from the Lord had come to me, he was completely on board AND, amazingly, the rest of his week was completely open.

"Bring Bertrand's drums in Wednesday night. We'll get everything set up, tuned and ready to go. Thursday he can come in and lay down the drums. Then we'll spend the rest of the week getting all of your stuff down."

I was overjoyed. Then came the important part - "Brian", I started in. "I can't pay you right now."

"That's Ok." He responded. "I can wait."

"Brian. As soon as my tax return arrives, I will pay you for all of the hours you've spent with me in the studio."

"Sounds good to me. I'm fine." He replied again.

This is Brian's livelihood. It's how he makes his money. Things haven't exactly been easy for him either and yet here he was agreeing to just let me come spend hours and hours, day after day in his studio without paying right now.

And so, this is the plan. I will continue to pray and seek guidance and I will stay on the course and keep the faith. I have NO idea what happens after that, but I have to focus on the task at hand - get as many songs completed and mixed this week and get them on I-tunes and my strong impression is that all of these people from all over the world who have been begging for us to put our music out there for them to buy will come through and buy it.

This has just been an amazing experience and I know that there will still be obstacles. My faith will still be tested, possibly even very severely. But I know that through all of this, the Lord will guide me if I just stay close to Him. If I just do exactly what I feel impressed to do - no matter how grim things may look. I know this is what I'm supposed to be doing and I know somehow we will make it through.