Crazy Mind Games

It's official. I have major insomnia - that crazy/beautiful state of mind I find myself in every morning at around 3:00 AM. So, here's how it goes:

My round ligament pain starts in, piercing and throbbing and I begin to toss and turn, trying to find a comfortable position, but alas I fail. I flip over and check the time. 3:10. And here's how the conversation in my mind goes. In fact, I think sometimes I'm so delirious, I actually mumble it because sometimes my husband mumbles, "Huh, what?" half asleep and I mumble back, "Sorry, babe. Nothing."

Anyway, so here's how my half-functioning brain torments me:

3:10 - 3:10? Oh, yeah. That's in a movie. 3:10 to Yuma. I heard that's good. Maybe I should see it. Bertrand really likes it. I remember he pointed it out at the store the other night.

3:11 - 311. That's a cool band. How does that song go again? Oh yeah. (Begin singing in head) I know a drugstore cowgirl. So afraid of getting bored. She's always looking for something. So many things ignored. I try to be not like that. Some people really suck. (humming because I don't know the words at this point)...chalk it up to bad luck. (Humming the lead guitar part).

And repeat a few more times. Then turn over and fade back into sleep.

3:45 - 3:45? What can I do with that? Nothing. 20 more minutes and it will be 3:65. There are 365 days in a year....wait a minute...but the clock won't say 3:65 because there are only 60 minutes. Huh. Okay. Anyway, well soon it will be 4:00 and there are some things I know that start with 4.

I toss and turn a bit more, trying desperately to fall asleep before this psychotic mind game continues. But alas, I fail again!

4:09 - 409? (Moaning). Oh! Oh! Wait. Formula 409. Cuts grease. Yeah, that's a good cleaner. I haven't used it in a while. I used to buy that all the time. I wonder why I stopped.

4:11 - 411. Anyone got the 411? (chuckling to self) I wonder who came up with that. That's so weird. Oh, hey maybe it's because you have to dial 411 to get information, so somebody thought it would be cool to say, "Hey, give me the 411" meaning give me information (Yeah, I actually explain things out to myself - remember, I'm completely delirious!)

Moaning and groaning, I toss and turn some more.

(Whining) I don't know any more things that start with 4 right now. I'm so tired. PLEASE go to sleep. Go to sleep brain. Go to sleep. Oh, please don't let this game go until 5:00. Please.

Eventually I give up around 4:30 every morning, get up, go to the family room and watch TV until I'm so dead tired I can't stand it (about one hour). Then I go collapse in bed again for another two hours. Then I drag all day. Nice, huh?

Sorry, but I HATE pregnancy! Hate it! I love having the baby. I actually like the labor and delivery part. I'm a freak of nature! But, the nine months of torment and not being able to sleep - NO THANK YOU! Somebody just shoot me!

This Is What Pregnancy Does To Me!

So, I found this video and I can totally relate to "Edward" in it. I want to control myself when it comes to fast food, but pregnancy ruins everything. I don't know that I would have the self-control to do what "Edward" did in the end, though. He is truly the master!

My First Attempt

So, I've been sitting around trying to promote myself for the last month, approximately. And I feel that with this Friday being the start of the new moon (check your calendars, people. I lieth not), this is the perfect time to submit my song and letter of intent for the upcoming movie "New Moon".

Okay, seriously, I didn't plan it that way. I just happened to look at my calendar and I was like, "Well, look at that. It's the start of the new moon. What a coincidence".

Anyway, here's a pic of what I put together. Very basic, I know, but it's all I've got and I'm hoping that my passion will show through in the letter.



And now...I will hold my breath.

The Twi - LIGHT- iest Fan of ALL!

This is so stinkin' hilarious! I HAD to post it! This guy is awesome! Makes me wish I lived in So. Cal right next door to him so we could be best friends forever!

My New Campaign!

I wrote this song for "New Moon". It's called, "Don't Walk Away" and I (actually my younger brother who knows way more than I do) put it on youtube and garageband.com and soundclicks and myspace and...well...just trying to get it out there and heard in order to reach my goal.

The CEO of BMI in Nashville has heard it and likes it and supposedly is going to try to use his connections to get it in, but I don't expect people to make things happen for me, so I'm also campagining on my own. Here's my song! If you like it, go to youtube, rate it, pass it on to everyone you know. If you don't, just roll your eyes and ignore me. I'll never know. LOL. But, I'm HOPING you like it!

Trying To Figure This Whole Thing Out!

So, I've had a problem applying makeup properly. I've never really figured it out. I remember when I was about 13 we moved back to the United States from Scotland and over there you can't wear makeup at school. OR shave your legs. It's just not allowed. Not that you would really need to shave your legs anyway because you're required to wear thick, woolly gray or black tights with your thick, woolly skirt, so you could have forests growing there and NOBODY would EVER know.

And, I mean, it's good and bad because you don't have to worry about shaving your legs like EVER, but at the same time, if you don't ever have to, then how would you ever learn? You know what I mean? ANYWAY, I'm off on a tangent already.

FOCUS!

I came back from Scotland and all of my old friends were wearing makeup and shaving their legs and I was like, "Wow! That is so cool! I need makeup!" So my mom took me down to Walgreen's with my friend, Diana, and I was looking at the wall o' makeup and I was like, "What do I do?" So my friend was all, "Just get like your favorite color and that can be your eyeshadow. And look, they have like every color of mascara. It's totally cool!" And I was like, "Do they have blue?" and she was all, "Yeah" and I was all, "Awesome!" So, I bought blue eyeshadow, blue eyeliner, and blue mascara and I was really excited.

Anyway, apparently my great aunt in Illinois who happened to own a Merle Norman cosmetics store saw a photo of me and she realized that a major intervention needed to happen ASAP, so she came down here with her trailer of makeup and showed my sister and I how to apply it properly. She even left us samples so we'd have some decent colors to wear for a while.

But it ran out and also I could never quite apply it the way she did. I've always been a bit of a slow learner.

Okay, so anyway, I did this pageant thingy in high school because everybody else was doing it and it was like the cool thing and I kind of wanted to, but I also felt stupid. Anyway, I did it. And they had to teach us how to apply stage makeup. And I'm pretty sure somewhere in the tutorial they explained that this was stage makeup, but I missed that key word. So, when the pageant was finally over (and no - I did not win - ANYTHING), I started wearing this really gaudy, bright makeup and some guy at school was all, "Why do you wear your makeup like that, Poulsen? You look weird." I was devastated! That was it! I went to browns and really neutral stuff and just didn't wear much at all because I didn't even really know how to wear it anyway.

Years went by and I just kind of barely made it through, still never wearing my makeup properly.

My husband started to complain that my makeup didn't seem right and was even "boring". I didn't know what to do. Then my little sister, Larkie, came to the rescue. She would apply my makeup like every day and my husband would come home and be all, "Wow. I like your makeup. Did Larkie do it?" And I was all, "yeah".

But then, like all good things do, the daily ritual died....like a new grapevine that you just planted and were all excited about, but then your son sprayed weed killer on it and it died. Just shriveled up and hung there dead. (Yeah, I'm still bitter about that vine).

ANYWAY! Despite my efforts to imitate my sister's work, I have not been able to pull it off. My husband no longer comments on my makeup because...well...it sucks and he knows Larkie isn't doing it anymore because he can just tell. It's not hard.

Wow! You're still with me? Cool. Okay, this is the end part. I promise.

The conclusion to my "Lack Of Makeup Skills" saga came this afternoon. I was on youtube because I was trying to find more Rob Pattinson videos. WHAT?!?! You know you do the same thing.

Anyway, by some freak accident (actually, they say all things happen for a reason) I came upon this makeup tutorial and....all I can say is WOW! WOOWWWWW! Amazing! I love it! I can't wait to try it! I had to include the video because it's just...words cannot describe. So, here you go. Check it out! And watch for my new look. (She said it's even appropriate for church - I'm so excited).

It's How You're SUPPOSED To Be!

Okay, here's some more movie fun for ya'. But this time no review.

Bertrand and I settled into bed for yet another night of movie-watching until midnight when we both have to rise between 6:00 and 7:00 the next morning. I know, I know - totally irresponsible. I didn't say we were smart. We just like movies, okay?

So, this time we watched a semi-foreign indie film (we love those). It's about an American girl and she has no luck with dating. Her friends are all engaged or married or in serious relationships and she can't seem to find anyone and she's totally beautiful and intelligent - just has bad luck.

She's finally HAD it with dating. She tells her friend she's done (that's when you always find someone - the second you're done, right?), but she has this coworker guy who keeps bugging her to come to his party, so she finally gives in and gets dressed up and goes to his party...and it's totally lame, so she tries to leave, but suddenly this French guy shows up and he's all charming and romantic and forward, but in a good way. So, he's trying to get her to stay and she can't resist. I mean, who CAN resist a Frenchman? Look at me! I certainly couldn't.

ANYWAY, this guy is very forward about wanting to kiss her and telling her how he feels and he's just so romantic it'll just melt you right through the screen.

I heard Bertrand chuckling softly to himself, so I sighed and turned to him with a raised eyebrow and said, "What?!"

B: That's so ridiculous.

K: Why is that ridiculous?

B: That's not how we really are in France.

K: Really?

B: Yeah.

K: I don't believe you. I think that's EXACTLY how Frenchman are...except for you. I got cheated!

B: Nope. You're wrong. That's just how Americans THINK we are.

K: Well, you know what? That's how you're SUPPOSED to be, SO TAKE NOTES!

And with that, I got up and stormed into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Of course, this was all in fun - sort of. I really DID want him to take notes, though.

The next morning he put it into the envelope to send back to Netflix and I was like, "What are you doing?! Is that my movie?"

B: YOU'RE movie?

K: I love that movie. You better not be sending it back right now.

B: You're gonna' watch it AGAIN?

K: YEAH! Of course! I LOVE that movie. That French guy in it is amazing! I want to watch it again and again!

Funny thing...he kind of started acting like the guy in the film.

YAY! I win! I got my stereotypical, American-movie-version Frenchman after all!

You Can't Please 'Em All

We changed our family night to Tuesday night (just for this week) and I decided that I needed to come up with something fun just to kick off our return to scripture study. See, I get all ambitious and decide we're going to get back into the routine of studying - I mean really studying - and then it all falls apart very shortly thereafter.

I have this great book that's a study guide for the Book of Mormon. This book takes you through from title page to the end and breaks it all down and has ideas for activities to keep it interesting, so I sit and plan out the lesson each day and we do it at night and it really only takes about 15-30 minutes, but there's fun involved.

So, tonight I decided to kick off our return with a little game called Scripture Categories (a knock off of Scattergories). I sat down at the computer and typed up each letter of the alphabet with a line coming out from it so we could write something in each space. A through Z. Then I sat down with John and Bertrand at the dinner table this evening (the girls were in bed this time -Hallelujah - little monsters) and I told them the rules (very similar to Scattergories rules). I gave us all 15 minutes to complete the task and no scriptures were allowed. By, the way, this included ALL scriptures, any word, name, etc. found in the scriptures for each letter of the alphabet.

I thought it was fun. Bertrand thought it was fun.

John thought it was lame and moped away from the table immediately afterwards. I don't know if it had anything to do with the scores (26 pts for me, 22 pts for Bertrand, 19 points for John). Teenagers! He's not even a teenager yet and he already gives me grief. Everything is lame. EVERYTHING! Oh well...I tried. At least Bertrand and I had fun. And now we're ready to dig back in and feast on the good word! At least, Bertrand and I are...