I walked into a convenience store today to buy some gas. There was a basket with a sign that said "HOMEMADE CAR FRESHENERS $3.00 EACH. I was intrigued. They were very large Ziploc bags with an interesting substance inside. I decided to look through the basket and see what scents there were as the cashier rang me up. I picked up the first baggie. The sticker on it read SEX IN A HOT TUB. I could feel my eyebrows raise in reaction. I was curious. I didn't realize sex in a hot tub had a smell. I quickly glanced at the cashier to make sure he wasn't watching. I felt kind of naughty. He caught my glance and looked down sheepishly, shoving his hands into his pockets.
I waved the baggie in front of him and said, "Wow! This is an interesting name for a scent."
He kind of chuckled and, still staring at the floor replied, "Yeah. Sorry. My friend makes those. He asked if he could sell them here. Sorry about the names."
I grinned and slid it back in the basket. "A man made these, huh?" I said. That made sense. "Well, now I'm curious about the other scents in here." I rummaged through the basket and pulled out another. The sticker read SEX POISON UNDER MY TONGUE. I nodded as I read it, "Yummy."
The cashier leaned forward, trying to read the sticker. I turned it around so he could see. He scratched his head, nervously shifting on his feet, "Oh man! These are bad. I gotta' put these behind the counter. I'm really sorry, Ma'am. I didn't realize..."
"No. No. It's okay. Look. Here's cherry", I said as I pulled out another, trying to reassure him that they weren't all bad.
"Yeah, I think my friend's a little crazy", he said sheepishly, his face turning a deep purple at this point.
I sniffed a couple more. I'll spare you the names. They were pretty raunchy. The smell was actually really pleasant. Unusual, but pleasant. I liked them - the scents, not the names. I decided to buy one. I placed it on the counter and said, "I'll take this one. It smells good."
The cashier read the sticker name. It read ORGASMIC. Now, before you judge, I bought it because it smelled good, not because of the name. The cashier giggled and I grinned and chuckled.
"Yeah, well...you see that little white car out there?" I pointed to my sad little car sitting at the gas pump.
"Yeah", the cashier replied.
"That's mine. It's a Hyundai Elantra. It's not a bad car, but you get more than 2-3 people in there and it starts to feel like sardines packed in a can."
The cashier nodded in response.
I continued, "You see, I've got four kids that I jam pack in there with me. So, if your friend's homemade scent here is going to make riding in a Hyundai Elantra with a screaming infant and two whiny toddlers in the back seat an orgasmic experience, then he's gonna' end up a billionaire!"
And with that, I took my car freshener, tromped out to my little tin can on wheels, opened it up and placed it under my seat. It smells good...
