Tell Me What To Do

Okay, Halloween is here (more on that later) and I've run a "haunted stories" blog for this month. But now it's over. (I will keep it up indefinitely, though, if you haven't read it yet and ever get the guts to). And I enjoyed it so much and appreciated the feedback I got, that I've decided to do another side blog. But I'm having a dilemma.

I originally promised a month of crazy dating stories, which, believe me, I have plenty. I've got 7 1/2 years of solid dating - all of Arizona and radiating out into surrounding states - and I've got some real doozies for ya'.

HOWEVER, I'm kind of enjoying writing fiction too. I have this other story I considered writing as a movie script, but then I thought I'd get more enjoyment out of it telling it as a story, so I could put in the details and descriptions I wanted to. Stories are much easier reads than movie scripts.

It's called "The Light Above". It's based on facts. But I took it and ran with it and my imagination went wild with this one. Well -not too wild. Anyway, I have a good friend from Brazil and let me tell ya' - that girl has some BIZARRE stories. She has me captivated every time. But they're true. They're all true. See, there's this phenomenon happening in Brazil. It's a light from the sky. It hovers. It follows people. Some of her relatives have recounted stories of their personal frightening experiences with this light. Their theory - aliens. But I've got my own theory. And I made a story out of it - complete with some good romance, believe it or not.

SO - which appeals to you more? Do you want true horrid and hilarious dating stories or do you want this fictional sci-fi romance I'm concocting? Please give me your good opinion. And thanks for being a supporter of my writing addiction.

Betcha' Didn't Know...

...that plastic ice cube trays can double as grape separators. You know, for when you want to eat them, but you don't want them touching each other. Or if you're on a diet (like me) and you need to keep track of the number of grapes you can have for a snack. Chloe invented this idea. She's a GENIUS!

FINALLY!

After nearly four years of marriage, I agreed to family photos. I don't usually allow myself in pictures because I HATE the way I look in photos - especially when I'm fat after two babies in a row, but Jana did an awesome job of making me look not so fat! Thank you! I highly recommend forgetmenotbyjana.com

I love this one she captured of Sylvie-Faye. The girls were just not having picture time from the beginning, but she just snapped away and managed to get some good shots anyway. Amazing!

My Ladies

Today we went out back to water the yard and the garden and we saw this little critter on the wall.Sylvie-Faye is always a bit apprehensive.

But Chloe has no fear.

Chloe wanted to kiss it. So I said okay.

And she did. EWWW!!

Then Chloe said the lizard bit her, so Sylvie-Faye examined, but it was all just the usual drama.

Tarzan 1.

Tarzan 2.

SF: Mommy! I eat the leaves, huh? I eat them. Leaves are yummy.

ME: No, Sylvie. Don't eat it.

SF: Why mommy? It's yummy.

ME: No. It's not yummy. It's yucky.

SF: No mommy.

ME: Sylvie, no! Don't eat the leaves. The tree needs the leaves. Don't pull them off and eat them, okay?

SF: (Gasping) Look mommy!! So many leaves! Dat one and dat one and dat one. See? Tree not need more leaves, mommy.

(SIGH) I'm gonna steer her towards law school.

I Can't Help It! This Was Too Good To Not Post!

A Necessary Interruption

Okay, I know - this is not one of the promised blogs on the list. I know you're all just on edge waiting for the "prison" story of mine, aren't you? Or perhaps it's the garden one with nudity you're holding your breath for.

Well, I'm sorry, but I'm being tortured on a daily basis here and I just needed to vent. (SIGH). Here we go.

Have you seen the new Twilight trailer? If you answered yes, then you might be feeling my pain. If you answered no, then you're going to have to watch it approximately 1, 523 times to catch up to me.

The movie is gonna' be good. It is. I'm excited. What I'm not excited about is the dialogue. Here - let me give you some examples.

1. In the forest, Bella is discovering the truth about Edward. Here's how it goes:

EDWARD: Say it out loud. Say it.

BELLA: Vampire.

NOOooooooo!!!! That's NOT what you're supposed to say, Bella!

You're supposed to say, "The movie's been pushed up to a sooner release date - it's now coming out tomorrow!"

GRRRR! I hate when they get it wrong.



2. Edward and Bella are in what looks like her room. Their faces are close:

EDWARD: I just wanna try one thing.

Then Bella and Edward proceed to kiss. NO! NO! NO! All wrong, Bella! You're not supposed to kiss him! You missed your line! Here's how it's supposed to go down:

EDWARD: I just wanna try one thing.

BELLA: Okay. Let me call Kristin real quick because I know she's the one you REALLY want to try it with.

Then Edward smiles his devilish smile, I enter the room - kissing begins. These are supposed to be seasoned actors! Don't you know how to follow direction?

And finally:

(I don't have a gazebo picture)

3. Edward and Bella in a gazebo.

EDWARD: You don't know how long I've waited for you.

Okay, actually there's nothing wrong with this dialogue, it's just that he's saying it to the wrong Kristen! It's Kristin with an I, not an E!!!! Dang Kristen Stewart locked me in my trailer for this one and ran out there on MY cue! MINE!!!!!

(SIGH) Look, Summit Entertainment or whoever is responsible - I cannot keep watching this dang trailer like 500 times a day. Seriously. I've got kids. I've got a full-time job. I'm trying to have a life here. Can you just get the dang movie out already? You know it's done and ready to go. You're just getting a high off torturing me, aren't you? Mm hm.

Okay. I'm done. Just had to get that off my chest. Yeah, yeah - I know. I'm a married mother of three. Edward's a vampire. He's cast his vampire spell on me. That's my big excuse, okay? Let me see you come up with better. I know there are other desperate housewives out there.

My Birthday - Let's Go Down The Checklist, Shall We?

Okay, so my birthday was like back in August, but I did the whole doll pictures portraying what I wanted thing and went on and on and said my husband would be reading the blog and would know what I wanted and it would all be magical and .....SIGH....so I feel like I need to at least go down the list so you can know if it all happened the way I wanted because I know you're just sitting around, holding your breath waiting for this big moment, right?

What's that? You forgot about the whole doll/birthday thing?

Oh. Okay. Well...I guess I've already started this post, so I should probably just go ahead and finish.

(Clearing throat). Okay, so looking back at the doll post, I wanted my husband to get the kids out of the house so I could sit around eating and playing with the kids' toys, which was mostly a joke because I'm trying to lose weight, so sitting around eating all day is not going to help that and though food and I have had a long-term, exclusive relationship, I've decided to try and break ties with it. It's hard to dump, let me tell ya'. It calls to me. It cries to me day and night, begging me to come back into its loving arms and I'm like, "I've moved on. You should too". Apparently so far I have not been too convincing because it's still very much in my life. Anyway....

So, my husband DID get the kids out of the house. I didn't say I wanted him to take them anywhere specific, so he took them out back and they swam and played for quite a while. It was nice. Then I went out with my husband and friends to Cheesecake Factory, my favorite place of all time, where I tried to have my one final fling with food, particularly avocado egg rolls. Unfortunately, I have no pictures of the party, but the Tylers, Truschkes, Crandalls, and Worthens were able to make it and I found out I kind of share a birthday with Jarred Truschke, so that was cool. He and I are both Leos. That explains our need to be famous musicians - something we bonded over during dinner.


Now, I know I had requested Gainey Ranch, but I LOVE Cheesecake Factory, so we'll just pretend like that's what I asked for. I'll take avocado egg rolls over a gondola ride any day. Actually, no - I take that back. That was the old response. The new response is "Anything but food".

Moving on...

My son and husband together bought me this ridiculously expensive rock star necklace. I've been eyeing it for over a year, but I thought the price was a bit much, so I never thought I'd actually own it.


And then, there's the clothing. Now I'm fat. I'm not gonna' try to hide it folks. Besides, if you know me, you already know this to be true, so why lie. I had two baby girls back to back, so it's to be expected. And I type for a living - long hours. And also I've been having an affair with food for years and the side effects = fatness.

So, the best I could do was to go to Buckle and buy two tops as cute as I could find under the circumstances. And I went ahead and bought two because they were $24 each and I thought that was a good deal. I have a picture of one. I couldn't find the other. It's buried in the bottom of the laundry bin and I was too lazy to fish it out. It's cute. Trust me. Here's the one I wore on my birthday dinner night, though.

And then I just could NOT resist these darling high heels. Now, I normally purchase Wal-Mart, Target and Payless shoes, but every few years I splurge on a nice pair. I definitely splurged on these. But don't you think it was worth it?

And I got a nice box of Choxie chocolates from my friend Koe. And my friend Amanda took me to dinner and a movie, which was so fun, except the movie was Mama Mia and it was more than we could take and also Colin Firth (the man we lust after sometimes) played a gay guy in it and we just were too upset for words, but that's okay - at least we got out together with no kids and it was loads of fun.

And then my super talented friend, Marylou made me these awesome blinged out flip flops, which I love to wear, but only when my toenails are cute. I didn't have cute toenails today so I had to take a picture of them alone. But trust me -they look amazing on! If you like - go to Greenweaves.com in my shout outs and send her an email telling her you want some.


Okay, so my camera stinks and does these shoes no justice. But there's the basic idea. They are blingin'.

And I actually got other stuff besides that, which is crazy because it's my birthday, not Christmas, but it felt like Christmas. I have never had so many gifts and attention lavished upon me. I feel very loved.

Thank you, all, for making it a fabulous beginning of my 33rd year.

Arizona Haunting

For Halloween, I've decided to share some personal haunting experiences that me and my family have had. If you like to be completely freaked out, then I highly recommend clicking on my link ARIZONA HAUNTING under SHOUT OUTS on the right side of my blog.

Read with caution. Some of them are super creepy, but all are very real. And some have happened in the home I live in now. Let's just say...you probably won't want to come for a visit after reading these stories.

So Much To Blog - So Little Time

Okay, I have been totally out of it. I've had a lot going on. The following have been my priorities lately:

1. Getting rid of clients. Yes. You did read that correctly. I am going full time with an on-line company called PSI so I can have no stress, no driving, no printing, no phone calls, and weekly paychecks with full time benefits. YAY! It's about stinkin' time!

2. Getting ready for "The Green Card" interview.

3. Getting out of prison. Okay, so that's a bit dramatic. And not as bad as it sounds. I'll explain later. You'll have to stay tuned.

Here are the posts you can look forward to over the next week: (sigh - oh goody)

1. My Birthday - Let's Go Down the Checklist, Shall We?

2. Sylvie-Faye's Birthday.

3. The Prophet Said To Plant A Garden (There's a bit of nudity in this one. Sorry in advance....unless you like that sort of thing, in which case - you're welcome.)

4. The Great Escape (This is the prison story. Sorry, but you'll have to get through three posts before you get to view this one. Hang in there my friends.)

5. My Man - A Birthday Tribute (Ah yes, it will be as sappy as it sounds.)

And finally...

6. The Gate - A Halloween Tale of Horror (Complete with pictures that will send you running from your computer howling. Yes honey, this one pokes fun at you, but I did give you a birthday tribute beforehand so you can't be too mad.)

There you go. I hope you'll enjoy. Now, back to the job that actually pays me. I'll have to get to this later.