Creative Housekeeping Idea #532

I don't know about you, but I HATE mopping my tile floors. I usually let it go for a good week, just doing some light spot cleaning, but I have to get myself psyched to do the whole floor. Well, fortunately there is an alternative:

And it kills two birds with one stone because not only do the floors get wiped clean, but your kids have fun in the process.

Okay, I know they look a little scared here, but they're having fun. Trust me. Chores don't have to be a bore. **Helpful Hint**For the really tough spots, spray a little cleaning solution and let the kids work their magic.

Beep Beep B-Deep Beep To You Too!

Beep Beep B-Deep Deep Beep. Got that?

That's about as intelligent as the conversation got this afternoon, but I guess that's all you can expect when conversing with the birds.

Uncle Will (my super swanky bachelor brother) totally spoiled my kids for Christmas and bought them this super fun bouncy castle. My reaction - Yay! The kids can go out back and jump and I can get 5 minutes of peace in the house! The problem is they will ONLY go in it if I'm in there too, which poses a major problem - my body alone exceeds the weight requirement, so nobody else can get in. So we have to break some rules and in the process I'm wondering how long this poor bouncy castle is gonna' last.

So we're playing around and having a grand old time, but after a while I started zoning out. I was bored, okay? I admit it! So, as I'm daydreaming (Yes, about Jason Behr again. WHAT?!?! If I said I was daydreaming about my husband would you even believe me?.....Yeah, see? That's what I thought) I hear a piercing "Beep B-Deep B-Deep B-Deep!" Like a reflex I answered back. So then it's all "Beep Beep B-Deep Beep Beep!" and again I responded. We carried on like this for a good 15 minutes. I'm not kidding.

Here's a small excerpt from our conversation:

I was all, "Beep Beep Beep B-Deep".
And he was all "B-Deep B-Deep B-Deep".
So I was all "Bidda Beep Bidda Beep Deep Beep Beep Deep".
And he was all "Bidda Bidda Bidda Beep Beep Beep".

I have no idea what we were talking about, but he seemed into it...or maybe it was a she. That would explain a lot...anyway....

Then the bird came into view. He/she perched on a branch near me and sounded increasingly aggressive. All I said was, "B-Deep B-Deep B-Deepity Beep" and that thing got TICKED! It warbled something angry and took off....and that was it....the relationship was over just as quickly as it had started. (Sigh) Birds are so difficult to deal with. They have MAJOR tempers.


People, I have officially lost my mind. But the kids had fun on that bouncy castle and Chloe saw me in a whole new light. She just sat there staring at me like I was some sort of freak show.

Cloverfield

Bertrand and John made the mistake of seeing Cloverfield this weekend. The movie made them so sick because of the way it was filmed that they had to leave. Bertrand got on movies.com tonight to read what other people had to say about it and this was, by far, the best review ever written about a movie - period. Enjoy.

Cloverfield Reader Review by cardoc911 - Movies.com

Okay, so if you read it and you didn't understand it, it's not because it doesn't make sense. It's because there's something wrong with you. It's you, not him. But don't be too hard on yourself. It's okay.

Now if you read below his review, you'll see what everyone else has to say about it and I'm sorry to say - that's the part where Bertrand and I laughed out loud so hard, we were crying and nearly woke the kids up at 10:30 at night! So juvenile. The first comment brought back memories of grade school, but what do you say to a review like that? Seriously.

Been Tagged!

Wow! This is my first time. I feel so special.

1. What two things do you always have with you? Gum and backup gum.

2. What is your favorite TV show? Roswell. I know. I know. It's not on anymore. I'm watching reruns. Does that count? American Idol is my #2.

3. What is your middle name? I don't have one. Well, I do now. It's Poulsen. My parents are old-fashioned. They believe my last name should become my middle when I marry.

4. What characteristic do you despise? Back-stabbing. I've got at least ten scars from it. I'll show you some time. Okay, I've left a few marks on people in my time too, but it's done now. It's done. Enough already!

5. Favorite item of clothing? I don't like clothes right now. Check back in six months when I can get some on that aren't maternity and don't require 2-3 girdles underneath.

6. If you could go anywhere in the world for vacation, where would it be? France with my husband....and then Disneyland with the kids.

7. What color is your bathroom? Oh, it's multi-colored. I think it's supposed to be white or cream or something, but there's lots of weird splotches on the walls from the all of the people who lived here before us. It's awesome.

8. What did you want to be when you were little? An actress and a rockstar. Oh, and also I wanted to save the world. Still do.

9. How are you today? How am I? Or how old am I? I'm confused. I've seen this question answered with a number and for me it's 32. But if you want to know how I am - it's the usual - farty and bloated.

10. What is your favorite candy? Red Vines.

11. What is your favorite flower? Tulip.

12. What is your favorite thing to do? Entertain people.

13. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Any shade of purple.

14. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Michele. Michele is who I end my day with. Each and every day. Love ya' Michele. lol. Okay, I'm joking....kind of. It somehow ends up that way a lot, though. Are we secret lovers or what? Don't answer that. I'll call you later.

15. Hugs or kisses? Kisses. Passionate ones.

16. What is under your bed? I sleep on two mattresses on the floor. But if I HAD an underneath the bed, it would be nothing. Absolutely nothing. My husband would have it cleaned out every day. He's a neat freak. And he married an absolute slob, poor guy.

17. What is your favorite smell? Fresh rain on a hot pavement. I wish they'd make THAT into a candle.

18. How many keys on your key ring? 50 million.

19. What are the top three qualities you value in a friend? Funny, down to earth, slightly crazy.

20. Who is your favorite friend from high school? Sigh. I can't pick a favorite. I had a table full of friends. We were all nerds and rejects, but we stuck together. Well, I was kind of partial to Rachel J. She and I shared a majorly sarcastic sense of humor. Making fun of the popular boys using geometrical proofs was too much fun. I told ya' I was a nerd.

Now you know the true E! Hollywood story.

Oh, and I'm tagging Kachelle and Adrienne.

Suicide Attempt

Bertrand and I took the kids out to eat on Saturday evening. Bertrand HATES doing that, but when we can't get a babysitter and I'm desperate to get out, I try to make it work. We decided on Native New Yorker since it's kind of noisy in there and Chloe has a set of lungs and a famous ear-piercing scream when she's ticked. The guys decided to order wings. I ordered a variety of fruits, breads and veggies to share with the girls.

While mulling over the wing flavors, Bertrand and John decided to challenge each other - see who could withstand a suicide wing, so they each ordered one. The two suicide wings arrived on a silver platter and they each took one, grinning at each other and egging each other on. John took one bite and his eyes began to water uncontrollably. He held the wing off to the side and gasped for air. That's when it happened....

Chloe's eyes locked on the wing. She let out a yell and started to dive for it. I dropped my food, threw my body across the table and grabbed both of her hands shouting, "NO CHLOE! STOP!" Too late. She got suicide sauce all over her little hands. I held each of her wrists in a death grip and shouted to Bertrand to get me one of the wet wipes ASAP! He pointed and stated that they were right under my armpit. I let go of one of Chloe's wrists and grabbed a packet. She instantly took her free hand and wiped it across her face, wiping suicide sauce on her lips, chin, cheeks and even into her eyes. "DANG IT", I yelled. "She's getting it everywhere! I need HELP!" Everyone just sat there. "She's fine", said Bertrand. "Look at her". I looked up at her and she was gasping for air. She balled her hands into fists and was hitting herself in the face and rubbing her eyes as hard as she could. She gasped for air again. I tried to make her drink something, but she wouldn't. She became more and more agitated and gasped more and more for air. At this point EVERYONE in the restaurant was staring at us. I swooped Chloe up into my arms and ran for the bathroom.

I ripped a paper towel off, soaked it in cold water and started washing her face and eyes. She continued to gasp for air, batting at the wet paper towel and struggling to get away from it. Two female servers entered the bathroom and said, "Oh, poor little guy". I explained quick what had happened and they both gasped and clasped their hands over their mouths. One of them told me that our server had gone back in the kitchen and told everyone that a father and son were challenging each other with suicide wings. Even though that restaurant offers the suicide wing, the servers are always amazed, apparently, when someone actually wants to try it. They felt so bad that my baby had it in her eyes and on her face. I washed her off as best as I could and walked around with her for a bit.

When I returned to the table, John was still crying and drinking and saying his mouth was on fire and the burning wouldn't stop. I thought, "Poor little Chloe. She must be in AGONY!" We had to pay our bill and get out of there quick. What a disaster.

Yet Another Dilemma

(BIG SIGH) Okay, here's my dilemma - Bertrand and I are getting the band going again. And I'm not gonna' lie here - it's gonna' rock! (I never said I was modest.) We're changing things up a bit. I did the whole Enya/Jewel thing and it was fun, but now it's time to add some crazy, technical drumming and rock things out a bit more - put a bit more edge to the music.

I got my man this rockin' jacket for Christmas and now he's trying to help me look the image so we go together a little more.



He took a trip to Vegas recently with his brother and came back with this T-shirt.



I love it and I look like a rocker chick with it on, which is the idea, but can you see what's written across the front?

Help me out here - great people of the blogging world. I'm 32, a mother of 3, with a double life. I've got my conservative, serious, total mom side and I've got my wild, driven, fun side. Give me your advice. Do I wear it? Wear it, but make sure I wear a jacket over the top? Or only wear it in the privacy of my home....in my room or bathroom where my kids can't read it?

Confessions Of A Desperate Housewife

One night I was shutting down the house and someone had left the TV on. I went over, picked up the remote and started to turn it off, but then I decided to flip around while I was standing there because I never have time for TV anymore, so I was curious. That's when I happened upon 10 minutes of something that changed my life forever! The last 10 minutes of the Roswell pilot. Now Roswell was a TV series back in 1999. It ran for three seasons. And those of you who are into the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer, this is for you! It's just aliens instead of vampires. I know, I'm a little behind the times, but oh well.

This is Jason Behr you're looking at. He plays Max Evans and I am trying so hard to not worship him. Yes, it's THAT pathetic. But this guy plays an alien named Max Evans and he's so gripping - he's gripped me. I started checking out his other works and this guy is a major talent. He plays so many diverse parts and very convincingly. Oh, and did I mention he's so nice to look at? This guy has got it going on. He should have totally been picked up to play Edward in the Twilight movie. He's like 34 right now, but....I think he can pull off a teenager.

It gets better.....

Here's his gorgeous wife. And this woman is like head over heels for this guy. I mean, every interview I've read, she's gushing about how romantic and amazing he is as a husband, a man...(SIGH). And the two want to work together so bad. They just enjoy each other so much - even after two or three years of marriage. And everyone who has worked with him goes on about how sensitive and caring he is. Just an all around great guy.

I mean, what's not to like? Well, the shorts, but you know what, Jason? I'm going to forgive you for that one because I'm totally distracted by your 12-pack.

So now I face a major dilemma. Who do I daydream about?

Edward the vampire?


Max the alien?

Edward?

Max?


Oooh. What's this? He's lookin' good. I think I'll take him! Oh yeah! Babe, you're still my number one. And I don't feel so bad obsessing over Roswell because you do too. Yay! Now, let's go watch another episode together. Last one to the TV has to give me a foot massage while we watch.

Well Isn't That Just FABULOUS!

Great! They BOTH climb now. It just gets better and better every day, doesn't it?

And THIS picture is blurry because she's got music going on the boom box, which I moved out of her reach because the girls were blasting it and hosting Soul Train in their room, and she's standing on the toddler bed and actually dancing to it. THAT'S not dangerous or anything!

I think I must be like the most laid back mom in the Universe! I mean I don't let them have near death experiences or anything, but I definitely let them experience life's bumps and bruises and I'm telling ya' - they learn fast!

But not today. She has since climbed down, completely unmarked. Truly amazing! I think we're gonna survive another day. Awesome!

PRIORITIES!!!!

I was over at my friend's house today - she runs a daycare out of her home and my girls used to go there back when I could afford it. She has a bulletin board up in her daycare with information about child rearing and safety, etc. I was standing there browsing it when a bright-colored piece of paper jumped out at me. The title was "PRIORITIES". It said:

What's more important? - The toys on the floor or the people who play with them?
What's more important? - The food on the floor or the people who eat it?
What's more important? - The clothes on the floor or the people who wear them?

It made me ponder on my attitude towards my house and my kids and the perpetual mess. Sometimes I feel like all I do is clean and I get so tired of it. Sometimes I don't clean because I think, "Those darn kids are just going to mess it all up again, so why bother?" I'm not saying that one shouldn't bother with cleaning up the messes. It just made me realize that my children are a major blessing and my two girls are trying to grow up and figure things out and in the process they make huge messes, but I just have to love them and be patient with them and know that it won't always be like this.

There you go - my deep thought for the day. Yay. I guess I just really needed to read that piece of paper and remember what's most important - loving my kids no matter what!