Trying To Figure This Whole Thing Out!

So, I've had a problem applying makeup properly. I've never really figured it out. I remember when I was about 13 we moved back to the United States from Scotland and over there you can't wear makeup at school. OR shave your legs. It's just not allowed. Not that you would really need to shave your legs anyway because you're required to wear thick, woolly gray or black tights with your thick, woolly skirt, so you could have forests growing there and NOBODY would EVER know.

And, I mean, it's good and bad because you don't have to worry about shaving your legs like EVER, but at the same time, if you don't ever have to, then how would you ever learn? You know what I mean? ANYWAY, I'm off on a tangent already.

FOCUS!

I came back from Scotland and all of my old friends were wearing makeup and shaving their legs and I was like, "Wow! That is so cool! I need makeup!" So my mom took me down to Walgreen's with my friend, Diana, and I was looking at the wall o' makeup and I was like, "What do I do?" So my friend was all, "Just get like your favorite color and that can be your eyeshadow. And look, they have like every color of mascara. It's totally cool!" And I was like, "Do they have blue?" and she was all, "Yeah" and I was all, "Awesome!" So, I bought blue eyeshadow, blue eyeliner, and blue mascara and I was really excited.

Anyway, apparently my great aunt in Illinois who happened to own a Merle Norman cosmetics store saw a photo of me and she realized that a major intervention needed to happen ASAP, so she came down here with her trailer of makeup and showed my sister and I how to apply it properly. She even left us samples so we'd have some decent colors to wear for a while.

But it ran out and also I could never quite apply it the way she did. I've always been a bit of a slow learner.

Okay, so anyway, I did this pageant thingy in high school because everybody else was doing it and it was like the cool thing and I kind of wanted to, but I also felt stupid. Anyway, I did it. And they had to teach us how to apply stage makeup. And I'm pretty sure somewhere in the tutorial they explained that this was stage makeup, but I missed that key word. So, when the pageant was finally over (and no - I did not win - ANYTHING), I started wearing this really gaudy, bright makeup and some guy at school was all, "Why do you wear your makeup like that, Poulsen? You look weird." I was devastated! That was it! I went to browns and really neutral stuff and just didn't wear much at all because I didn't even really know how to wear it anyway.

Years went by and I just kind of barely made it through, still never wearing my makeup properly.

My husband started to complain that my makeup didn't seem right and was even "boring". I didn't know what to do. Then my little sister, Larkie, came to the rescue. She would apply my makeup like every day and my husband would come home and be all, "Wow. I like your makeup. Did Larkie do it?" And I was all, "yeah".

But then, like all good things do, the daily ritual died....like a new grapevine that you just planted and were all excited about, but then your son sprayed weed killer on it and it died. Just shriveled up and hung there dead. (Yeah, I'm still bitter about that vine).

ANYWAY! Despite my efforts to imitate my sister's work, I have not been able to pull it off. My husband no longer comments on my makeup because...well...it sucks and he knows Larkie isn't doing it anymore because he can just tell. It's not hard.

Wow! You're still with me? Cool. Okay, this is the end part. I promise.

The conclusion to my "Lack Of Makeup Skills" saga came this afternoon. I was on youtube because I was trying to find more Rob Pattinson videos. WHAT?!?! You know you do the same thing.

Anyway, by some freak accident (actually, they say all things happen for a reason) I came upon this makeup tutorial and....all I can say is WOW! WOOWWWWW! Amazing! I love it! I can't wait to try it! I had to include the video because it's just...words cannot describe. So, here you go. Check it out! And watch for my new look. (She said it's even appropriate for church - I'm so excited).