It's official. I have major insomnia - that crazy/beautiful state of mind I find myself in every morning at around 3:00 AM. So, here's how it goes:
My round ligament pain starts in, piercing and throbbing and I begin to toss and turn, trying to find a comfortable position, but alas I fail. I flip over and check the time. 3:10. And here's how the conversation in my mind goes. In fact, I think sometimes I'm so delirious, I actually mumble it because sometimes my husband mumbles, "Huh, what?" half asleep and I mumble back, "Sorry, babe. Nothing."
Anyway, so here's how my half-functioning brain torments me:
3:10 - 3:10? Oh, yeah. That's in a movie. 3:10 to Yuma. I heard that's good. Maybe I should see it. Bertrand really likes it. I remember he pointed it out at the store the other night.
3:11 - 311. That's a cool band. How does that song go again? Oh yeah. (Begin singing in head) I know a drugstore cowgirl. So afraid of getting bored. She's always looking for something. So many things ignored. I try to be not like that. Some people really suck. (humming because I don't know the words at this point)...chalk it up to bad luck. (Humming the lead guitar part).
And repeat a few more times. Then turn over and fade back into sleep.
3:45 - 3:45? What can I do with that? Nothing. 20 more minutes and it will be 3:65. There are 365 days in a year....wait a minute...but the clock won't say 3:65 because there are only 60 minutes. Huh. Okay. Anyway, well soon it will be 4:00 and there are some things I know that start with 4.
I toss and turn a bit more, trying desperately to fall asleep before this psychotic mind game continues. But alas, I fail again!
4:09 - 409? (Moaning). Oh! Oh! Wait. Formula 409. Cuts grease. Yeah, that's a good cleaner. I haven't used it in a while. I used to buy that all the time. I wonder why I stopped.
4:11 - 411. Anyone got the 411? (chuckling to self) I wonder who came up with that. That's so weird. Oh, hey maybe it's because you have to dial 411 to get information, so somebody thought it would be cool to say, "Hey, give me the 411" meaning give me information (Yeah, I actually explain things out to myself - remember, I'm completely delirious!)
Moaning and groaning, I toss and turn some more.
(Whining) I don't know any more things that start with 4 right now. I'm so tired. PLEASE go to sleep. Go to sleep brain. Go to sleep. Oh, please don't let this game go until 5:00. Please.
Eventually I give up around 4:30 every morning, get up, go to the family room and watch TV until I'm so dead tired I can't stand it (about one hour). Then I go collapse in bed again for another two hours. Then I drag all day. Nice, huh?
Sorry, but I HATE pregnancy! Hate it! I love having the baby. I actually like the labor and delivery part. I'm a freak of nature! But, the nine months of torment and not being able to sleep - NO THANK YOU! Somebody just shoot me!
2 comments:
I actually enjoy and hate that part. I don't wake up from pain till the end though. But that is how I know I am pregnant is I don't sleep and survive on very little. I love to read so I read and read and read and get tons of books done before I have to stop reading from exhaustion when the baby comes. But then all the lack of sleep catches up and I look like a 90 year old hag till the baby is about 2 when I finally get a little more sleep. Life's lovely cycles.
i totally agree with you!!! i have one word for you: BENADRYL!!! i probably spelled that wrong but seriously it works!! also, ask koe if you can borrow her poop pillow. she'll know what you're talking about. she said it really helped her those last months.
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