That's Gonna Cost You!

This afternoon I was hunched down by the kid videos, looking for a good one to entertain the kids for a bit. Just then I heard a little voice behind me.

E: Ummm....Sister Coppee. If you want me to fix you, I can, but it's gonna' cost you a lot of money.

ME: Ew. A lot? Like how much?

E: (Scrunching her face up and thinking hard) Like...ummm....ten million hundred zillion million dollars....and fifty cents.

ME: (Sweating profusely) Oh wow! I don't think I can afford that.

E: Well, you're gonna have to die then because you're really sick.

ME: Okay, I guess I'm gonna have to die. (SIGH) Oh well....

E: (Guilt setting in) Well....okaaaay. I can fix you for three dollars.

ME: Whew! Okay. I can afford three dollars. (I'm suspicious. She really knocked a lot of money off there and I didn't even really have to bargain with her. This can't be good.)


I handed Dr. E. three dollars (Not really, because truthfully, I don't even have THAT right now. But fortunately, she humored me and accepted my "air" money).

I then turned to the DVD player and inserted "Little Mermaid" for the kids to watch. That's when Dr. E. seized the moment and proceeded to pull out a toy syringe and stab me (very unexpectedly) in the left breast.

ME: Yowch! Right in the boob!?

E: (Giggling) Yep.

ME: You were gonna' charge me more than 10 million dollars just to stab me in the boob?

E: (Laughing hysterically) Yep!

ME: MAN! I thought OUR health care system was bad. I don't wanna' live on the planet you come from!

**Now, if you're one of the mothers who sent her kids over to play today, I'm not posting this to tattle, so don't call me and ask if it was your kid. I've changed the names to protect the innocent. I just think kids are hilarious and today yours wins the prize...whoever you are.