Lessons Learned From Toddlers

Yo! Yo! YO! What's up, my people? Super-Fly GMC in the hiz-ouse! (Sylvie-Faye Gretchen Marie Coppee, that is. Yes, my parents actually did that to me. Five names. It's amazing I'm so well adjusted. What are we - royalty? Geez!) Today I'm gonna' show all you happenin' "tods" what's up! It's time for Surviving The Toddler Years One-Oh-One! There's five key points in this first lesson and I'm using the help of my annoying baby sis, Chloe "Laryngitis" Coppee to help me demonstrate these new concepts, yo! (Well, she should have laryngitis with all the screaming she does. It's amazing she still has vocal cords intact!)

1. You can never get too close to the TV.

2. If you can't play a game by the rules...

...change 'em.

3. Swimming pools are lame.

4. Office chair rides through the house rule!

5. And finally, if mom says "no" to the third packet of fruit snacks, just go grab it anyway when she's not looking and lure your baby sister under the kitchen table with you.

Then, play nice and giggle a lot (especially make the baby sister giggle a lot)

Hearing this will put mom in an exceptionally good mood (most likely because you and baby sister have been screaming for two weeks straight and she's losing her nerve), and when she finally walks over and takes a peek...

..she'll find the giggling and hiding so darn cute, she'll overlook the underage scheming and give you want you want.

**She might even throw her head back and roar with laughter and then pull out her camera and snap tons of pictures. That's what my mom did anyway. That's how you got these lovely, full-color illustrations with the story, fool!

So I Think I'm In Love!

I'm sorry, but I'm obsessed with Chelsie and Mark from "So You Think You Can Dance". And I mean obsessed! I love that show. I live for that show right now!
They say they view each other as brother and sister, but I'm not buyin' it!

There is so much emotion in their performances and they have amazing chemistry. Brother and sisters don't have that. Come on! The tension between these two just builds week and after week and I am losing my mind!

At least it keeps me occupied until Breaking Dawn comes out because my obsession with the final book in that series is like ruining my life! So I need another distraction! Thank you, Chelsie and Mark, for making that happen!

Saturday Is A Special Day It's the Day...

You wake up in the middle of the night with a millipede trying to crawl into your eye.

Wait a minute. That's not how the song goes. But that's how it went for me Saturday night. Something was crawling all over my face. I finally woke up and smacked at my face. When I looked down upon my pillow, there was a big, juicy millipede! I screamed and Bertrand shot straight up in bed.
My husband rescued me and picked the critter up and tossed it in the toilet. He walked out a few seconds later and climbed back into bed. I couldn't sleep. I swear I felt things crawling all over my body. I was tossing and turning and scratching myself everywhere. I had the "heebie jeebies" big time!

I finally got up to use the bathroom and when I went in, I said, "Honey?"

B: What?
K: What did you do with that thing that was on my pillow?
B: I put it in the toilet.
K: Well, did you flush it?
B: No.
K: Well, I don't see it in here.
B: It's dead, hon. Come back to bed.
K: Well, I have to go to the bathroom and I don't see it in the toilet and you didn't flush it and I'm really worried. What if it crawled back up and got out or what if I go to the bathroom and it crawls on me?
B: Hon, it won't.
K: It might.
B: It won't.
K: I don't like that I can't see it. I need to know where it is.
B: (Growl).

He put his pillow over his head and tried to go back to sleep. LOL. Poor guy. I crawled back into bed. I laid there thinking "What WAS that thing exactly and HOW did it get on my face? WHERE did it come from?"

K: Babe?
B: (Muffled) What?
K: I'm sorry to bother you again, but how did that thing get in here?
B: I don't know.
K: Well, I just don't understand how a big, juicy creepy crawly ends up on my face. I'm just freaking out about where it came from.
B: It probably came in the window.
K: But it couldn't have. I mean, we have a screen up and I haven't opened the window in months.
B: Well, it might have gotten in the window somehow.
K: No. That's impossible. It got in here a different way. I'm just freaking out about how!
B: Babe, it's gone now. Just go to sleep.
K: Yeah, but what if there are more? What if another one gets on my face again after I fall back asleep?
B: It won't.
K: It might.
B: It won't.
K: Well, I'm going to freak out and scream again if it does.
B: (Growl).

House of Sylvie - Makeup Line

Hey there, unibrow.

Channeling Frida Kahlo this season, are we?

Very risky indeed. But why do I get the feeling this look won't catch on here in the US?

Anything You Can Do...

Ah, the magical ages of 1 and 2. And to top if off - the competitiveness of sisterhood!

I ate dinner alone with the girls tonight. John was off to his dad's for the weekend and Bertrand was still at work.

SYLVIE: (SIGH).

ME: What's the matter, Silb?

SYLVIE: Well, I not feel good.

ME: Okay. Well, no treats after dinner then.

SYLVIE: (Excitedly) YEAH! Want treats!

ME: Well, not if you don't feel good.

CHLOE: MOM! E! (She shouts it in two short bursts these days).

ME: (Gasps) Chloe doesn't feel good either?

CHLOE: Yeeaaaaaaah. (She always says this word like she's high. It's long and drawn out in a big sigh)

I start to feed Chloe another bite of food.


SYLVIE: Hey mom! Mom! MOMMEEEEE! Mom! Mom! Mom! (All in quick succession - not really giving me an opportunity to answer in between)

ME: (Sigh) What Silb?

SYLVIE: Wock on!

ME: Yeah. Rock on!


CHLOE: YA YOW! YA YOW!

MOM: Oh! Are you doing "rock on" too?

CHLOE: Yeeeaaaaaaah.

ME: Oh yeah, Chloe. Rock on!

Smithy

It's a new expression I invented...I think.

It's actually a word. It was used in the "olden days" (only because I don't know history and I'm too lazy to look it up) to describe a blacksmith's workshop, I think. I don't know. Do you wanna' look it up? 'Cause I sure don't. Here's a pic.

It just came out of nowhere one night when JJ and I were driving somewhere and this is how it went down:

ME: We need to buy you some new clothes.

JJ: Why?

ME: Don't you like buying new clothes?

JJ: No.

ME: What?

JJ: What's wrong with the clothes I have?

ME: I don't know. They're a bit Smithy, that's all.

JJ: Smithy? What the heck is Smithy?

ME: I don't know. It just came out, but I think it means "old and outdated - in need of refreshing or something..."

JJ: You're a freak, mom.

ME: I know, huh. (In British accent - for more spice) Smithy. I kind of like that. It's my new word. I've never invented a word before, but I think I just did.

JJ: Oh my gosh. Stop. Please.

ME: (In British accent) I'm feeling a bit Smithy right now myself.

JJ: Mom! You're embarrassing!

ME: Well, it's better than being (in British accent) Smithy.

There you go - a new word. Smithy. Using a British accent enhances it. Gives it more flavor. (Sigh) Why can't I have a job that employs my mind so I don't come up with random garbage like this? Well, I'm afraid it's stuck. Smithy it is.

What I Need!

My good friend, Michelle, had posted this on her blog and I thought it was hilarious. Plus, I was also curious about myself, so here's what you do - you Google your name and type "needs" after it. So, for example, I typed "Kristin needs" into Google. Then I typed "Bertrand needs" and here's what it came up with.

1. Bertrand needs a thesaurus (Oh my gosh! So true! He's writing a book and he's constantly consulting one)

2. Bertrand needs a whole lotta car (I know. I hear about it every day)

3. Bertrand needs five million francs (even just five hundred would help)

4. Bertrand needs a hug (Awww. Poor guy)

5. Bertrand needs some loyal supporters (He already has those, but maybe he could use more)

Now, my turn.

1. Kristin needs to move (Definitely, but not away from the ward)

2. Kristin needs her own show (Definitely)

3. Kristin needs a nap (Definitely!)

4. Kristin needs to be everywhere (Definitely)

Do I say definitely too much? (DEFINITELY!)

Try it. It's hilarious! I dare you all to post the results on your blog.

I'm Sorry....

Did I complain about living in Arizona? I take that back.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid823425597/bclid877032950/bctid1588489216

For David Cook Fans Only (If you're not, go away!)

http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/realityrocks/87152/best-idol-ever