Today is our 3rd anniversary. I know that at our age, we should be celebrating more years together, but it took us a long time to find each other. A lot has happened in three years. I think we're living our lives in fast forward because what we've been through takes most people at least twice as long, I think.
To recap, Bertrand and I married at first sight. I picked him up at the airport and we went and got married right then. It's a little bit more responsible than it sounds, but we both took a major leap of faith. What immediately followed was rough. I immediately became pregnant, Bertrand was desperately trying to find a job, and major health problems set in for Bertrand. We nearly lost the condo I had purchased as a single mom, so we quickly sold it, paid off our debts, and started out fresh in Queen Creek. Queen Creek brought us another unexpected, but wonderful surprise, another daughter. The health problems grew increasingly worse for Bertrand, and the finances were barely hanging on by a thread. Our fresh start was quickly becoming a nightmare.
After two years of trying to make it work and trying to find a way back into the housing market, we realized it was time to start out fresh yet again somewhere else, so we quickly picked up and moved back to Mesa. We rented a little old house thinking it would give us an opportunity to save money, living in something smaller and closer to Bertrand's work. We were wrong. Because the house is so old, it's not insulated well and the utility bills are actually higher than they were in our Queen Creek rental that was nearly twice this size.
Now we're dealing with trying to get Bertrand a permanent Visa so that he's not deported and taken away from us, his truck continues to break down and cost us thousands of dollars, and I just lost my biggest client this last week, so our money supply has been diminished significantly.
I don't say all of these things to campaign for sympathy. I'm not entering a competition to be the most pathetic. I just look back over the last three years with Bertrand and ponder on what we've been through and marvel that we're still together and that I am feeling closer to him as we trudge through trial after trial.
I look at him and think, "How funny. I married a complete stranger. I really had no idea what I was doing. I just know that I prayed about it and I knew it was the right thing to do. And after all of these years and all of these trials, I feel like I can't imagine going through them with anyone else. And I feel like I've known him my whole life. And I know I married the right man".
I'm so grateful to him for sticking by my side through all of the craziness. I'm so grateful that he's not exactly like me because I've seen how our differences complement each other. When he's up, I'm down and when I'm up, he's down and we just take turns going back and forth, holding each other and saying it's going to be all right. I know that we'll figure out a better plan for our family and that life won't always be as rough as it has been, but I feel at this point that Bertrand and I can handle pretty much anything.
Now, our next order of business - getting to the temple to be sealed. It would be a shame to lose all that we've built up together. I want to be sealed to him and our children for all eternity. I look forward to that day with great anticipation when we can kneel across the altar and take each other's hands and look into each other's eyes and know that we will be together forever no matter what.
My darling man has no money and he's so frustrated about that. All he could afford were these flowers. Well, that's the way HE put it. They're beautiful. I love them.
One of the most romantic things he ever did for me occurred the day I was having a breakdown. The girls were difficult, the house looked like a tornado had blown through and had looked that way for months, I never had time for myself and I was looking ragged and haggard, and we were just getting ready to move out of this big, beautiful Queen Creek house so I was trying to slowly get it packed and cleaned on top of dealing with two babies and working a full time job. One morning I was upstairs working, Chloe was asleep and Sylvie was being really quiet. I decided to go downstairs and see what she was up to. Somehow she had found something black (looked like permanent marker) and had drawn all over a patch of carpet in heavy black marker. I lost it. I completely lost it. After disciplining Sylvie, cleaning her up and putting her into bed, I got to work trying to wash out the black. It wouldn't come out. Wouldn't even fade in darkness. I bawled my eyes out and called Bertrand in a panic. I could barely talk on the phone, I was hyperventilating and crying so hard. One of my friends wanted to take me to a movie for my birthday that day and I called her up and said that I couldn't go. I could barely get THOSE words out. I was so upset, I was beside myself.
My friend insisted on picking me up anyway. Bertrand asked over the phone what he could do to help me. I said, "Nothing. There's nothing you can do. The damage is done. We'll just have to try to figure out a way to get this out later. I'm going with Amanda. I have to get out of here for a little while". I went to the movie with my friend and practically cried my way through the movie. I was under so much stress and so exhausted from the girls and my job and the overwhelming size of that house. I returned home from the movies and my friend, Amanda, asked if she could come in and help me clean the house. I said, "No. I don't want you to see it. It's awful. I'll do it. I feel better after getting out for a while. I can do this, but thanks anyway". She gave me that "are you sure" look and I said, "I'm fine. Really".
I got out of her car, walked up to the door, opened it, walked in and saw flowers on the table. My first thought was, "Oh my gosh! Who's been in my house?" I walked over to the flowers. They were all I could see. My heart was pounding. I was actually scared. lol. Then I saw a letter folded up underneath them. I opened it and read it. It was from my husband. It was the sweetest letter I have ever received from him. I will cherish it forever. He said that he had come home and cleaned the house. I dropped the letter to my side and looked around, my jaw hanging open. I hadn't even noticed. The house was straightened up and vacuumed. I picked the letter up and finished. He said that he hoped this little bit would help me. He said not to worry about the marker. He would figure out how to get it out. He told me he loved me and that he was so sorry that things were so difficult lately. I collapsed into a heap on the ground and cried. Just to help anyone reading this understand how big of a deal that was, he drove at least an hour to get home, spent an hour cleaning the house, and then drove another hour back to the job site, at which point he was extremely behind on work, so it put stress on him to get everything done. That was one of the most romantic things I had ever seen! I started to question whether or not I would have gone that above and beyond for him. I honestly don't know, but I feel forever indebted to him.
I am excited that we've made it this far and I'm excited to see what the future has in store for us. We can do this! I know we can! I love you, Bertrand.
EXHIBIT D: Sylvie gets on my mucho expensivo keyboard that I used to
Then there's daddy. I leave the girls with him so I can go
Watch Mike Portnoy drumming videos all night long.
