What Say You, Sylvie?

SYLVIE-FAYE: Mommy? What's dat, mommy? What's dat?

ME: That's your dinosaur, honey.

SF: What? He's in da twash, mommy.

ME: I know. I put him there, okay?

(Sylvie scowls at me and shifts from left to right to left)

ME: Mommy's cleaning. I'm throwing dinosaur away because you don't play with him.

SF: Well. You naked.

**Just for the record, I was not totally not naked. Not even close. It was like she was trying to insult me with that because she was mad that I was throwing away her dinosaur toy. Yes, you read that correctly. The dinosaur was actually hers. No, I did not buy it for her. Somebody gave it to her because she really wanted it. Anyway, I'm doing some major cleaning out in their room and dinosaur was just part of the mess. She wasn't playing with him anymore.


ME: Something smells like bubble gum. Who smells like bubble gum?

SF: Well. I not, mommy. It's Chwoe.

ME: Chloe smells like bubble gum?

SF: Yeah. Chwoe do dat.

ME: Chloe did what?

SF: Chwo eat mommy's gub gum. (Turning to Chloe and pointing a scolding finger) No Chwoe, okay? No do dat mommy's gub gum. Want spankings? Huh? Wanna go time out?

CHLOE: NO! NO!

ME: Come here, Sylvie.

SF: What?

ME: Somethings bulging in your pocket. Come here.

I discover an entire pack of gum in there, which has been opened and a couple of pieces are missing.

SF: What's dat, mommy? That's gub gum.

ME: Yeah. That's mommy's. Where did you get that from ?

SF: Well...I not sure.

ME: You're not sure.

SF: Umm...Chwoe do dat.

I go to my stash cupboard (I've replaced candy with sugar free gum in all flavors, which entices the toddler). I open my stash cupboard wide.

ME: Is this where you got mommy's gum?

SF: Uh....YEAH! Dat's mommy's gum. Sylbie no touch it, okay?

ME: Sylvie-Faye Coppee! You ask mommy. You don't get into mommy's gum, okay? If you ask me, I'll give you a piece.

SF: Okay, mommy. (Raising her hand and staring intently as she tries to hold up fingers and count) I do one, two, free, four times and dat's all, okay mommy?

ME: No. You don't do two, three or four more times. You don't do it anymore.

SF: O! K!