Not So Random

I've been tagged. I apologize. I must give 8 random facts. And you all must suffer through one more round of randomness. However, I'm really not that exciting. Not very random. My life is pretty mundane and predictable, though I do try to make certain choices to throw things off a bit just for fun. THAT was random. Let's call that number one. And no, I won't go into detail.

2. I love dark hair and dark skin. Really wish I could have had that naturally. Instead I must dye my hair and sunbathe and explain to strangers on a regular basis that YES, the girls are in fact my biological children even though their coloring is NOTHING like mine because I'M TOTALLY FAKE! (All right. Got a little carried away there. Anyway....where was I....ah yes..)

3. I'm going to make a movie someday with James McAvoy. I know. Totally random. I'm not even in the movie making business. Not even close. But I will. Just watch. It's not IF, people. It's WHEN. Keep watchin'.

4. I used to wear wigs and go out on the town and put on an accent and pretend to be someone else. If you know me well, this doesn't surprise you. I KNOW! I should TOTALLY have gone into acting. I'm still going to. Check out #3.

5. My wedding ring is totally fake. HA! And I can't stop telling people that. My husband hates that I do that, but I think it's awesome. My ring is like HUGE! Totally fake. I mean, come on. I drive a Hyundai Elantra. Why would I have a REAL 5 carat ring? Seriously! I'm sorry, but when a doctor's wife complains that her ring is smaller than mine, I can't just stand there and pretend like it's true that her husband is a cheapskate, even though he probably is because most doctors are. But anyway, I can't let her go home and make her husband feel bad. My ring is FAKE! Just like me.

Oh thank goodness we're almost done with this torture. Are you hanging in there? You're still reading this? All righty then - I'm bringin' it. Here we go.

6. I love the color purple. A lot. BORING! I know. But there's more. One day I read an article that this lady loved pink so much that she dyed her white cat pink. So the other day I was like driving down the road listening to "Muse", which totally inspires me to write lately. But also, it inspired me to want to buy a little white dog or cat or something and like dye it purple. But then I was like, "Well, how would I do that? Because I think that lady did it with Kool-Aid, but then wouldn't that make the cat be all sticky and stuff? That's no good. The cat will just lick it off. I guess I could use food coloring. Wait. Is that safe? Aw, who cares. I can't believe I just spent 10 minutes of my day thinking about that. Never mind". The idea seemed fun, though....for about 10 minutes.

By the way, in case you're wondering - no. I'm not doing drugs right now. This is how my mind works and you're the innocent victim getting a, most likely, unwanted peek inside the madness.

7. If I could have a super power, it would be to become invisible so I could spy on people and not be seen. Okay, if you've had this conversation with me before, I said a totally different answer - the one I always use because it's safe - "I wish my super power was to be able to see the future because I'd find out the winning lottery numbers and WIN!" Sounds safe enough, doesn't it? But here's the awful truth - I am a voyeur. People fascinate me and I like to watch them. I wish I could be invisible and just stare at people and they wouldn't even know I was there. (I'm doing an evil laugh right now. You should be very afraid of me). It's totally true - I would rather spy on people than win the lottery and be rich. CRAZY!

8. I always wanted to be a goth chick. I just thought it would be cool. One of my good friends told me once that she's a former goth chick and I didn't believe her because she doesn't seem the type. Not at all. But she was. And now I'm kind of bummed I didn't get to have that phase. I think it's kinda too late for me now. I mean, I have kids and stuff. And also I'm 32. That's kind of lame. Maybe for Halloween....or not. I think I embarrass my kids. Well, not the 1 and 2-year-old. They don't know any better. But the 11-year-old....yeah! Definitely.

Oh, would you look at that! I gotta go. It's like 9:40 PM on a Saturday night and I totally need to go grocery shopping. Can't be breaking Shabbat now, can we? Nope. Not me. Have a good one. Hope you enjoyed the insanity. Buh bye now.

**Disclaimer: I was totally joking. This whole post was a joke.

What? You don't believe me? Oh. Okay then. Never mind. It was all true. I'm just feeling a little vulnerable, that's all. No big deal, though. We're all freaks, right? At least I admit it. Right? Hello? Okay, I'm thinking I should probably hide out for a few weeks. Let this all just pass.