My Husband Complained

Oh yes, he did. Oh YES! He DID! It was in the middle of a big fight and he said something along the lines of "You never make yourself look nice for me anymore." He's not talking about weekends when he actually takes me out on a date. Or weekdays when there's something going on I need to be dressed for.

He's talking about every single night when he comes home, I need to look and smell good.

And, call me crazy, but I don't understand what the problem is!

What's the matter, honey?

You don't like this look?

You don't appreciate the smell of sour milk? It's just like cottage cheese, honey. I thought you LIKED cottage cheese!

PAJAMAS?!?! In the MIDDLE OF THE DAY?!?! You no LIKEE?!


Michael Jackson did it ALL THE TIME!!!!

I KNOW he's dead, you...

FINE!

HERE! HAPPY NOW?!?!


Oh, don't EVEN start with my hair!



If you knew ANYTHING about high fashion, you'd appreciate the "My infant son pulls on, sucks on, bites, rubs his booger nose and baby food face into" hairdo I've been sporting lately!

You don't APPRECIATE the way I LOOK when you come home every night?! Well, THEY did this to me! YOUR children! They've ruined me! RUINED ME!!!!!

(Regaining composure)

(Somewhat)

(Through gritted teeth) Well, I'm sorry, but I'm stuck at home with three fussy, demanding, messy, snot-nosed kids who fight and whine and destroy and tattle-tale to me ALL DAY LONG! And I deal with that WHILE I try to do my medical transcription job full time AND I'm trying to keep the house somewhat clean AND I cook dinner almost every night!

Oh, and let's not forget the part where I'm trying to finish editing your book and write the rest of the music for our upcoming album release.

So YOU, my dearest husband, are going to learn to like this look for the next DECADE!

NOW!


Does anyone else have any complaints?

Betcha' Didn't Know!

You only THINK you know how to spell the word "mom". But you're wrong. See, we were all taught in school that the word "mom" has one "O" in it, but we've been lied to and I'm reminded of this on a daily basis.

Every time that dang TV shows a toy commercial or anything directed toward children, for that matter, which is 90% of what daytime television is directed towards, this is what I hear:

SYLVIE: Mom, can I get that toy on the TV for my birthday?

ME: (Glancing quickly in direction of TV) Sure.

CHLOE: Mom, I want that too. Can I get it for my birthday?

ME: Uh huh.

SYLVIE: But mom, she already had a birthday. It's MY turn!

CHLOE: Sylvie, I can have it for my birthday too!

SYLVIE: No, you can't!

CHLOE: Yes, I can!

SYLVIE: Mom said it's my turn.

CHLOE: No she didn't Sylvie.

SYLVIE: Yes, she DID CHLO-E!

CHLOE: Well, I'm having that toy too!

SYLVIE: NO!

CHLOE: YES!

SYLVIE: NOOOO!

CHLOE: YESSSSS!

UNISON: MOOOOOOOOOOM!

See what I mean? There's definitely more than one "O" in there. (SIGH) Dang TV! I'm ready to ban it from my home. I thought my friend was crazy when she told me they don't get TV channels in their home (on purpose). Turns out I'M the crazy one! I allow myself to be tortured by this crap on a daily basis! Just call me a masochist.