Jedi Master In The Hiz-ouse!

Lately Sylvie-Faye has been approaching me and saying things like:

S-F: Hey, mommy. You wanna' read me a story right now. You do.

ME: (Gasping) I do?

S-F: (Excitedly) Yeah! You really, really do!

ME: Oh my gosh! How did you know?

She just shrugs in response. It cracks me up. And, of course, I have to read her the story because that IS exactly what I wanted to do...right in the middle of typing a medical report.

Another time I was cooking dinner and she approached me with a little mischievous grin on her face and her hands behind her back.

ME: Hey Sylvie.

S-F: Hi mommy.

ME: What do you have behind your back?

S-F: (Shrugging) Oh. Nuffing.

ME: Nothing?

She slowly brought her hands forward and shot her left hand straight up at me. In her little fist I saw the pink nail polish from my bathroom.

ME: Uh oh. Did you take my nail polish from my bathroom?

S-F: (Shrugging) Well...did you want to paint my nails now?

ME: Well, honey, I'm cooking dinner right now.

S-F: Well...you wanted to paint my nails.

ME: I did?

S-F: Uh huh. So...uhhh...just stop cooking the dinner now because you wanna' paint my nails now.

I threw my head back and laughed at that one. She is hilarious! I think she's been watching too many Star Wars movies with her big brother John and she's attempting to use the Jedi Master force on me like she's Obi-Wan Kenobi or something. I'm embarrassed to say it's worked thus far. Her powers of mind control are too great for me.

How I Motivate My Husband

HIM: Man, today's gonna' be awful! I have so much work and I'm gonna' be all the way out in Carefree today.

ME: I'm sorry, babe.

HIM: I wish I didn't have to go to work today.

Walking over to the carport door as he's talking, I peer out through the peep hole.

ME: (GASP!) Oh my gosh! Your truck is gone!

HIM: (Look of horror) WHAT?! What do you mean it's gone?!

He runs over to the carport door and throws it open.

HIM: (Looking at me confused) My truck is there! It's not gone!

ME: (Cheerily) Ah! Well, good. Looks like it's gonna' be a good day after all!