Ah, He Kills Me!

The following are ACTUAL conversations between my husband and I:

B stands for Bert, K stands for Kristin. Ready? Set. Go!

B: Hey, honey. How many of these pills should I take?
K: I don't know. Read the side. It'll tell you. I can't remember the dose for that medication.
B: Should I take one or two?
K: What does it say on the side, honey?
B: It says two for adults.
K: Okay.
B: So, how many should I take?
K: Well, you're an adult, so two would be the correct answer.

SERIOUSLY!?!?! Yes. This conversation actually happened. And it WASN'T for headache medication either. GEE WHIZ!

B: So, how was it?

K: Awkward.

B: Why?

K: There was this lesbian who kept staring at me. It was just uncomfortable.

B: How do you know she was a lesbian?

K: Well, somebody else there told me and I could tell anyway. She wouldn't stop staring at me and it was one of those, "I like you" stares and I mean "like" in a non-friend sort of way. You know what I mean?

B: Well, if I was a lesbian I'd stare at you too, 'cause you're hot!

K: (Jumping on him and kissing his face all over) Oh honey! You're so romantic!