Slight Misinterpretation

On Monday nights we try (try being the key word) to sit down with our children and read scripture and have a little religious lesson. It's what we call "Family Home Evening". Because most of our children are so young, the lessons are very short and usually involve pictures or objects to keep their attention.

Recently I found this great resource at our church bookstore - a small booklet with CD to print out lessons with pictures and activities. Of course, I snatched that right up (I'll take all the help I can get) and brought it home in a rush of excitement where I whipped it out of the bag, showed it my husband with a huge grin on my face and then put it on the shelf...where it sat for weeks.

One Monday night I thought, "We haven't had a Family Home Evening in a few weeks. I should try to put something together for tonight." So I paced about, opening a couple of closets, looking on shelves, trying to get an idea. Then it dawned on me, "Oh yeah! I bought a book to help me with this."

I found the book, chose a lesson that looked easy to put together at the last second, printed out the picture puzzle activity and let my anxious little helpers (my 3 and 4-year-old daughters) help me color them quick.

Then I told my husband I had something ready, we gathered the family together at our kitchen table and I proceeded to give a quick little lesson and then laid out the puzzle pieces. "OK kids. I have puzzles here with two pieces. One piece is over here on THIS side of the table", I said, pointing to my left. "And these are the matching pieces over HERE." I pointed to my right.

We proceeded to go around the table and let each person pick an action piece and then try to find the consequence piece that matched. My girls struggled a little bit with matching up the pieces since they can't read and, as we soon discovered, they struggled to interpret the meaning behind the pictures.

Here's how it went:



ME: OK, Chloe. Yours says "Obey the Word of Wisdom."

With some help I pushed the matching piece over and asked, "What happens when we don't smoke and drink and we don't do drugs and we eat good food and take care of our bodies?"

CHLOE: Ummmm......uhhhhhhh.....well, we could put our fingos (fingers) in our eaws (ears) (she grinned a toothy grin of satisfaction).

Immediately the table erupted into laughter and her look became confused.

CHLOE: Well, dat boy is putting his fingos in his eaws, mommy.

ME: I know it looks like that, honey. But look at those big muscles. He's flexing his muscles. See? He's strong and healthy.

CHLOE: Yeah. Stong and Helfy. (She giggled in delight).



ME: OK. Sylvie's turn. What happens when we say our prayers?

SYLVIE: Ummm....it's gonna rain out of a cloud.

Bertrand and I chuckled. John rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath.

ME: Well, honey, if we pray for rain maybe Heavenly Father will make it rain. But...

SYLVIE: (Interrupting) Mommy, why did you make the rain look like a fire? Why did you do that, mommy?

ME: Well, that's the sun poking through the clouds.

SYLVIE: Well, that's supposed to be rain, mommy. You did it wrong.

ME: OK. I'm sorry. But you know what it says? It says Heavenly Father will help us. If we say our prayers He listens to us and He can help us.

SYLVIE: (Bored) OK, mommy. That's enough. That's enough talking now. I want it to be somebody else's turn.

ME: (Heaving a sigh) OK. John. It's your turn.

Finally we got to Chloe's turn again.

ME: Chloe, what happens when we're happy at home? If we smile and give each other hugs and treat each other nice - what do you think happens?

CHLOE: Well....pokey fings (things) come out of a boy's head.

The table erupts into laughter again.

JOHN: Well, it's true. These pictures are gay, mom. How are they supposed to know what's happening?

ME: John, don't say that, please. That's not nice. Let's just help them try to understand, OK?

John rolls his eyes and mutters under his breath again.

SYLVIE: But mom, what ARE those things? Those things coming out of that boy's head - what are those? Is he shooting bullets from his head?

ME: (Giggling) No. Oh my gosh. OK. This isn't working.

I look at Bertrand helplessly. He shrugs in response. I return a slight glare. Bertrand leans forward and proceeds to explain the picture.

Then it was Sylvie's turn again.


ME: Oh, this is a good one too. When we're reverent in church, do you know what happens? Look at those kids.

SYLVIE: (Scratching her head and contorting her face) Mom, why are they touching their boobies?

Chloe and Sylvie burst into a giggling fit.

I immediately dropped my head into my hands and tugged at my hair as I tried to stifle my laughter.

JOHN: (Extremely annoyed) Oh my GOSH!

He heaves a huge sigh and lays his head on the table.

I finally looked at Bertrand and said, "Honey, I give up. Can you step in here and help me out?"

He held his hands up and said, "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know", I half laughed, half whined.

Luckily, Bertrand took over and saved the day and Family Home Evening ended within a few minutes and we were onto root beer floats.

(SIGH) I'm gonna' have to look at these lessons a little more closely before I give one next time.