The Accident

Before you read this, I just want to warn you that it's pretty graphic. I posted one picture - the only one I got. I tried to take a full shot of Bertrand, but he's so upset he won't let me. However, if you have a weak stomach, I'm warning you - this is really bad.

I received a phone call this afternoon from Bertrand and all I could hear was panting into the phone. I rolled my eyes and just sat there waiting for him to knock it off. You see, today is April Fool's day and he had already stopped by home at one point and told me his truck was breaking down and he was negative in his bank account - just to scare me and get a reaction for April Fool's. I didn't react and he was very disappointed, but he went on his way and I figured that would be the end of it.

So here he was now panting into the phone and I'm like, "Oh give it UP!" Finally, in an annoyed voice, I said, "Babe, I'm busy right now. What?"

He continued panting. Then he spoke in a weak mumble, "I had an accident."

I cackled into the phone. "WHATEVER! You'll NEVER get me!"

He continued panting and then crying. At this point I paused and thought, "Either he's really hurt or he's insisting on taking this as far as he can until I fall for it."

"Seriously, hon. I'm busy with work. What's going on?" I sighed.

"I hurt myself bad. Really bad. I need you to come right now." He began crying into the phone.

I perked up in my seat. "What happened? What kind of accident?"

"Just get over here right now. I don't know what to do." He moaned.

He told me which pool he was at and I jumped in my minivan full of fussy little kids and drove to the site, my heart pounding thinking "Okay, something IS wrong. There's no way he'd take a prank this far."

When I arrived at the scene, I grabbed Zander, rolled down windows and told the girls to stay in the minivan. They started fussing and I said, "Hey! You just wait here a second. I'm going right over there where you can still see me. Just let me see what's wrong with Papa." With that, I made a mad dash over to him. He was on his knees, doubled over, holding his arm and crying. I saw something lying on the deck next to him, but without my glasses, I couldn't really tell what it was. As I got closer, it looked like...his arm. His forearm and hand. There was a lot of red stuff around him. It looked like blood. My stomach turned. I gasped and smacked my hand over my mouth.

"What the....?" I gulped hard. When I got close enough I realized it WAS HIS ARM! His arm just about halfway up the forearm was completely OFF! Just lying there on the deck! I screamed and dropped to my knees. Zander jumped and immediately started crying hysterically. I set him down next to me and, clasped both hands over my mouth and just screamed and screamed. Bertrand looked up at me, tears just running down his face. I started bawling.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!?!" I screamed. "WHAT HAPPENED?!?!"

I ran back to the van with Zander and grabbed my cell phone and called 911.

Anyway, long story short - the paramedics came and took Bertrand and his arm to the hospital. They had a cooler with ice ready and packed it in there, but we really had no idea at this point if they'd even be able to save it.

Apparently Bertrand was fixing a pool heater and he lifted a really sharp, heavy part out by himself, which is a job that NO MAN should be doing by himself! He should have had someone there with him, but he was too impatient and just wanted to get the job done, so he tried to do it himself, lost his grip on the heavy part and it just fell and took his arm clean off. Just took the whole thing right in the middle of his forearm!

At the hospital I took a picture with the camera Bertrand had in his truck.


So, I went to the hospital with all of the kids and sat and waited a while. The kids started fussing, so I took them home. I got them all taken care of and just collapsed on the couch in shock. And just sat and waited for the call from the hospital.

They were NOT able to save his arm. There's nothing they can do. The best they offered up was to clean the wound, bandage it up, keep him on antibiotics in the hospital and later on down the road we can try to get him a prosthetic arm.

To answer any questions that might come up:

1. He will definitely be out of work for a long time, possibly indefinitely. We have actually already worked out a plan. I tried to get him to quit his job a while back. I can totally support us with my work, so we're just letting his truck go and I'll just work around the clock - Hey, at least we'll have medical benefits for all of us now.

2. He will NEVER give up drumming. There have been one-armed drummers before him. He'll have to figure out a whole new way of drumming. This does put a damper on our album, but we'll find another drummer in the meantime until Bertrand is healed up and has had time to learn a new way to play.

Anyway, we really appreciate the phone calls and support and the help everyone has offered. Many have offered to go visit him in the hospital, but he's really out of it right now. I'll be going back over there tonight to sit with him, but this is really shocking and upsetting and we kind of just want to be alone right now. Sorry if you've called and the phone just rang and rang. We don't have an answering machine. You can reach me on my cell phone. Don't call his. His is turned off right now.

We'll get through this. Bertrand is the KING of freak accidents and health problems, so this is just really no surprise. Crazy that it happened on April Fool's Day and I just feel so bad that I didn't believe him at first.

All I have to say right now is....

APRIL FOOL'S SUCKAS!

If you are a face booker, please do NOT say anything about this being a joke on my FB page. I want to fool as many people as possible! MUHAHA! Please help me in my evil plight. Admit it - you liked it! Who doesn't love a good fake out?