Meeting Bono

I've been talking about doing a duet with Bono for years. It's been my dream. I've just always been a big fan and I love the sensuality and emotion in his music and the way he sings it and I would LOVE to stand next to him on a stage and belt out his tunes right along with him...or do a new song with him. I don't care who writes it. Okay, we can write it together in a studio. I won't complain.

Aw. Look at that. Someone got a tattoo of Bono on his arm.

Creepy.

Anyway, one night an old friend of mine informed me that he had a connection that could get me introduced to Bono. U2 just happened to be in town giving a concert and, though I didn't have tickets to the concert, there was an opportunity for me to meet him. OF COURSE I took it! HELLO!

I was so excited it took me like three hours to find the outfit I was going to wear. And I think I did my makeup twice before I was satisfied. It was so surreal - like a dream. Even though I was so stinkin' excited, I was panting all evening getting ready, part of me felt like it was too good to be true.

Finally, the hour arrived. I had to have my husband drive me because I was shaking. We arrived at the hotel in Phoenix and my eyes darted about in the lobby, looking for my friend...or Bono, preferably Bono. I didn't see anyone I knew and I could feel my heart start to sink. I thought, "Yeah, there's no way it would be this easy." I turned to my husband and pulled a sad face. "Are you sure your friend is really going to meet you here?" He asked.

"Yeah. Well...I don't know. He said he would. Why would he lie?" I replied, looking about the lobby anxiously, gritting my teeth.

I eventually grabbed my husband's arm and pulled him toward a sofa in the lobby.

"Where are we going?" He asked.

"Let's just sit down for a minute. I'll try to call him on my cell." I replied, a hint of disappointment in my tone.

As I was taking my seat, I heard a voice calling out, "Hey, Kristin! You made it!" My heart immediately resumed pounding out of my chest and I jumped up. It was my friend.

"HEY!" I called out, a little TOO excitedly. "Of course! I wouldn't miss this opportunity for anything! I'd give birth in the lobby if I had to!"

Dead silence. My friend pulled a face. I glanced up at my husband. "What?" I asked. I was just being funny. I was nervous!

"That's a bit much, hon", my husband replied.

ANYWAY! So, my friend tells me Bono is up in his penthouse suite on the top floor and I followed him to the elevators. The ride up seemed to take forever. I could feel my knees starting to shake at this point. I was worried they might give out and I hadn't even laid eyes on the man yet.

"So, what are you planning to say to him?" My husband asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head.

"You don't KNOW?!" He asked, exasperated. "Are you serious?"

"HON!" I shouted. "I've given it TOO much thought already, okay? We'll just see when I meet him. Don't worry about it!"

FINALLY, I heard the ding of the elevator. We had arrived. The doors slowly opened. My stomach back flipped and I felt like I was going to throw up. My body felt stiff. I took one step and my leg wobbled a bit. My husband reached out quick to steady me.

"You okay?" He asked, concerned.

All I could do was nod. There was only one door on the top floor. The entire top floor was a suite. Bigger than my house. My friend knocked. I began panting. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! This is insane!" I panted.

"You okay?" My friend and husband both asked at the same time.

I shook my head and folded my arms tight across my chest, doing everything I could to not pass out. Suddenly the door opened. I glanced up quickly. It wasn't Bono. It was some other guy in a suit.

"Hey, I've got someone here who wants to meet Bono. He knows we're coming", My friend stated.

The guy opened the door completely and stood back. My friend entered first, then my husband, then me. I was kind of hiding. I was so nervous. We walked down a very short hallway and the room opened up, full length windows around the entire perimeter of the room. There was a black grand piano off to the left, all white carpet, white sofas. And there he stood at the wet bar, holding a glass, then taking a swig. He called out to my friend.


"Heeeyyy", my friend responded.

I grabbed the back of my husband's jacket and peeked out like a shy little child. I just stared him up and down. He was beautiful. I felt like such an idiot, but I couldn't help myself. I couldn't think of anything to say. I couldn't get my wits about me. It was all I could do to not melt into a puddle on the floor.

"Where are you?" I could hear my friend laughing.

"She's hiding behind me", I could hear the embarrassment in my husband's voice.

I swallowed hard and released my tight grip on my husband and slowly walked out from behind him.

"Hello", Bono responded.

I released the breath I didn't even realize I was holding. His voice was beautiful. That accent! I just wanted him to say "hello" a few more times. The room fell silent and I just stared at Bono who locked eyes with me and just stared back for a moment. "Hi", I released in an almost whispering tone.

Bono looked away and took another swig from his glass. He set it down hard on the counter. "Ahhh", he sighed over his drink. "So, did you have somethin' you wanted me to sign?" He looked at my friend since I seemed to have trouble speaking for myself.

Suddenly my husband stepped forward and offered his hand. "Hi, I'm Bertrand. I'm her husband." Bono walked over, his hand outstretched and shook my husband's. I was so jealous. "Hello. Nice to meet you. Where are you all from?" He asked.

"France", my husband replied.

"France!" Bono exclaimed. "I've been there a few times", he said. Everyone laughed.

Just then Bono offered his hand to me. It caught me off guard. I jumped slightly and exclaimed, "Oh." I could feel my face burning.

"I'm not goin' to hurt you", he laughed in response. I chuckled nervously, my face burning hotter. Everyone laughed then and I just wanted so badly to rewind and start over. What a disaster!

I grabbed his hand. Mine was ice cold. I could feel that it was, but this was my big chance to touch Bono and I wasn't about to pass it up. I gripped his hand tightly and shook it hard. "Hi", I said as I shook it nervously.

"Hello there", he replied.

"You're Bono", I immediately responded, almost cutting him off.

"Duh!" My husband laughed.

"Actually, your real name is Paul Hewson", I continued idiotically.

"That's right", he responded very calmly, locking eyes with me. I stared into his eyes and could feel myself getting lost.

"Can I call you Paul?" I asked in a soft, dreamy voice.

"Sure", he responded, still staring into my eyes, our hands still clutched tightly together.

"Can I call you Paulie?" I pushed further.

"No", he replied very curtly.

I hung my head sheepishly. "I understand".

"Come here", he cooed and grabbed me in an embrace. "Give us a hug then. It's nice to meet you, darlin'."

I melted instantly. He called me DARLING! AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Okay, I know. He probably calls everyone that. Well, all WOMEN, that is.

Then he pulled me back and kissed me on each cheek. I swallowed hard and my face burned again. Though I've always felt that people who stated, "I'll never wash my cheek again" after a celebrity kissed them were complete whack job fanatics, I thought that very thought to myself at that very moment.

"My friend here writes music. She's a singer/songwriter", my friend piped in.

"That's nice", Bono said, staring intently into my eyes.

"Thanks", I gushed. "I-I" I gulped hard again. "I was thinking we should do a duet sometime", I blurted out maniacally.

"Oh really", Bono chuckled.

"She's a good singer", my husband offered up.

Bono walked back over to the wet bar and poured himself another glass of whatever he was drinking. "You have an agent?" He called across the room.

I hung my head and shook it, disappointed. "I don't know how to get one. Do I need an agent to write music with you?" The words sounded so desperate and stupid the instant I finished speaking them.

"It would help. I mean, I don't know you. I've got a lot goin' on right now. It's not that easy, darlin'. But you should just keep doin' what yer' doin', you know? Just keep workin' hard at it. Get out there. Perform. Maybe someday we'll hook up and work on a song together. All right?"

"Yeah", I whispered, disappointed, and stared at the ground, pushing the carpet around with my shoe.

I heard my husband release a big sigh and felt his arm around me then. "You should hear her sing. You should hear her music. It's really good. She just wrote a song for a movie and...well...they didn't take it, but it's dang good. You should hear it", my husband persisted on my behalf. I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his chest.

"Do you have somethin' for me to hear?" Bono asked.

My hopes shot up just then. "Yeah!" I practically shouted. "I've got a CD here in my purse!" I pulled it out and walked across the room to Bono, tripping up on the carpet and stumbling forward.

"Whoa. Whoa. Easy!" Bono called out, reaching his hands out and catching me. My cheeks burned once more. At that moment, I felt so emotionally exhausted, I just wanted to go collapse on a bed and sleep and pretend this never happened so I could have a second chance.

Bono took the CD then and handed it to the guy in the suit. "Can you put this on, man?" He asked. My eyes followed the CD over to the stereo system. My breathing became shallow. My heart fluttering in anticipation. That sick feeling returned to my stomach. I instantly worried that he might not like it and then I'd REALLY feel stupid. He popped it in and pushed play. The room fell silent. You could feel the tension so strong. We waited. "Where was that first note?" I thought. The anticipation was killing me.

Then it started in. "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP."

"WHAT?!" I shouted. "This isn't my song!"

"What IS this?" Bono shouted. His hands clasped over his ears.

"This isn't my song! I swear! It's not my song!"

Just then I sat up in bed, a cold sweat across my face, my heart pounding, my breath panting.

(SIGH) "Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

It was just a dream! WHEW!

Okay, now that I have your attention, let's get serious. I did find a way to directly contact Bono. We'll see if he responds. THAT is the truth. I'll let you know.